Seth Meyers takes a moment to address some of the errors from this week of Late Night, like saying Doritos are potato chips and Stevie Nicks wears scarves.
Late Night with Seth Meyers.
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One: Seth loves us, it’s official.
ReplyTwo: your Australian went into huffy 1930s explorer. Which is close, a more mode accent lilt up at the end like a question. HOWEVER at the end you were doing a drunk aussie very accurately.
ANIMAL FLUUUUBS!!!!!
ReplyHey, Seth. Hey, Seth. Seth. Hey.
You said pigeons.
ReplyCorrection to your correction….Actually, they are just called ‘Gulls’, Ornithologist. Herring Gulls are only in Europe….So put that in your seagull shaped pipe and smoke it, Bird Scientist.
ReplyAh, back when Dennis Miller was actually funny. Whatever happened to that guy?
ReplyDid he say…”Stevie next week” at the end? Because if so, I hope we can get a running Fleetwood name-drop/lyric-drop thread going each week. They can go their own way with this but I think it would be a fun easter egg assuming not everybody finds out.
ReplyAs an Australian jackal (or Dingo, I suppose?), Seth, your Aussie accent is impeccable. 🙂
ReplyOoff Seth Meyers is really still getting used to being back, a lot of these jokes stink
ReplySeth, you may want to use that coaster, I always like to treat my furniture with respect because it is rude to create more work for other people. If you were to do things like that regularly someone might get sick from the fumes of having to re-finish the desk and needing to take a sick day.
When I was in high school, I took a day off…..
I used to live in a Chicago suburb. Two months before graduation, I faked illness to stay home from school. My parents believed I was ill, though my sister, Jeannie, did not. After learning I was absent from school for the ninth time this semester, Dean of Students Edward “Ed” R. Rooney became determined to expose my chronic truancy. I changed my attendance records by hacking into the school’s computer system, making it appear as if I attended school regularly.
I persuaded my hypochondriac best friend, Cameron Frye, to help excuse my girlfriend, Sloane Peterson, from school by claiming that her grandmother had died. Cameron called in pretending to be Sloane’s father, but Rooney, knew Sloane’s connection to me, and he was suspicious. I also called the school during the middle of Cameron’s phone call to confirm my absence, thereby fooling Rooney. To complete the ruse that Sloane’s father was picking her up from school, I borrowed Cameron’s father’s prized possession, a 1961 Ferrari 250 GT California Spyder. Cameron, fearing his father’s wrath, was dismayed when I decided to take the car on a day trip into Chicago; I promised I would return the car as it was, including preserving the original odometer mileage.
Me, Cameron and Sloane left the car with two parking attendants, who promptly took it on a long joyride. Meanwhile, we explored the city, and I took care to stay out of view from my father. We visited the Art Institute of Chicago, used deception to dine at an upscale restaurant, went to a Chicago Cubs baseball game, and attended the Von Steuben Day Parade, and I jumped on a float and lip-synced to “Twist and Shout” by the Beatles.
Meanwhile, Ed Rooney prowled around my parent’s house looking for me, becoming victim to several pratfalls. Jeannie skipped class and returned home to confront me but found Rooney instead; she was so shocked by his appearance, that she knocked him unconscious and called the police. When Rooney regained consciousness, he just left, and the police arrested Jeannie, believing she prank called the police station. While detained, she met another delinquent who advised her to worry less about my exploits and more about her own life.
Upon collecting the Ferrari and heading home, me and Cameron discovered that the car’s mileage had gone up significantly thanks to the attendants. Cameron became semi-catatonic from shock but woke up after falling into the pool. Back at Cameron’s house, I jacked up the car and ran it in reverse to rewind the odometer. This failed, and Cameron destroyed the car out of anger over his domineering father. I offered to take the blame, but Cameron declined, deciding to stand up to his father.
After walking Sloane home, I realized my parents would be returning soon. I raced on foot through the neighborhood, but I was nearly hit by Jeannie, who was driving our mother home. Luckily, mom failed to notice me, though Jeannie did. I made it home first, but Rooney confronted me before I could get back inside. Seeing the two of us through the window, Jeannie had a change of heart and allowed me to come inside, claiming that I was at the hospital for my illness, and also blackmailed Rooney by showing him his wallet that had fallen from his pocket in the kitchen earlier, before she tossed it into a nearby puddle. Rooney then got attacked by our Rottweiler. In the meantime, I rushed back to my bedroom to await my parents. They found me in bed and believed I had been there all day, further suggesting that I should have taken the next day off as well.
I heard a rumor around school that a humiliated, disheveled, injured Rooney reluctantly accepted a ride on a school bus filled with students who acted derisively toward him. He sat next to a girl who offered him a gummy bear from her pocket to his disgust.
It was surreal, I felt like I was in a movie and acted out a scene and looked into the camera and told the audience, “You’re still here? It’s over! Go home! Go.”
Come to think of it, I may have just imagined all that, but don’t be a jerk, use the damn coasters.
ReplyBest 20 minutes of my week. 🤣
ReplyNot really a correction, but that coaster got forgotten quickly.
ReplyFavorite slice of time every week
ReplyThat talking platypus really freaked my cat out.
ReplyThe speaker is second in line because the president isn’t first in line, he is the president already.
ReplyOMG that was hilarious!😆
ReplyLove corrections. On Thursday night it lulls me to sleep.
ReplyThanks!
Lifetime insomniac
RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU WOULD CARE THAT NYC BLEW UP OR SANK INTO THE SEA?
ReplyNO ONE.
ReplyA decade from now, honestly already no one will be able to watch from the years of lore building. The lore will become so entrenched and convoluted that it’s impossible to get caught up on, which it already kind of is. It’s like we’re on a DnD campaign and someone tries to join. Or a stranger walking in a group of friends whose conversations have lots of inside jokes, roasts, many allusions to past gatherings and conversations. It’s boring to the stranger. Though unlike a tactful person who just backs out that doesn’t understand the thick lore that is like layers of rock the jackals stand upon, this intruder blames the clique their not apart of, and that looks tackier than their shirt and haircut (both are probably just polyester).
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