Trump’s Cyberbullying Of Jeff Sessions Continues

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Published on September 5, 2018

Stephen catches up on the stories he missed during his summer hiatus, such as Michael Cohen’s guilty plea, Paul Manafort’s guilty verdict, and Jeff Sessions’ miserable existence.

20 comments

  • Emma Queen 3 weeks ago

    Yayyyy! So happy you’re back! It really softens the blow of the trump administration 😬

    Reply
  • Sebastian Stormborn 3 weeks ago

    THANK GOD MY REASON FOR SANITY IS BACK.

    Reply
  • Kim Jong Fun 3 weeks ago

    Hahaha! Stephen, you are being so incredibly generous to say that Trump lasted 2 whole minutes with Stormy Daniels, because according to Stormy herself in a recent interview, Trump actually lasted far less than that.

    Reply
  • Jonathan Pabon 3 weeks ago

    That beard looks a bit weird but if he grows it out it might work lol

    Reply
  • Philipp Weirauch 3 weeks ago

    The one and only is back!

    Reply
  • New Message 3 weeks ago

    ” … I should never have sworn off baking cookies…”
    – Jeffery Beauregard Sessions , every single time he looks in a mirror –

    Reply
  • Iron Man 3 weeks ago

    Last time I was this early I started
    A whole cinematic universe

    Reply
  • Ro G 3 weeks ago

    For the record, neither of those investigations started when Obama was in office. Not that facts matter anymore though, I guess. **sigh**

    Reply
  • Glowing Shadow 3 weeks ago

    I hope Dems will come up with a strong enough candidate to remove this political cancer from our system. We are better than what;s going on right now. WAY BETTER.

    Reply
  • Matthew Snider 3 weeks ago

    This unashamed and crass partisan desire to exonerate corrupt politicians as long as they’re from his party is yet another example of the toddler-in-chief’s utter lack of respect for the historical separation of the Justice Department from the White House, not to mention a highly revealing testament to his tolerance of the “swamp” and political corruption as long as it serves his purposes.

    Reply
  • Stormy Daniels 3 weeks ago

    Did you know that Spankys ass is covered in bruises, this is why he looks painfully uncomfortable when he sits. I can’t wait to spank him again, he pays well😂😂😂😂😂

    Reply
  • CJusticeHappen21 3 weeks ago

    Purge was supposed to be a low budget film, not a low budget reality.
    Also, love the beard.

    Reply
  • camelshit 3 weeks ago

    Here I am watching the trump from a South American country (where I’m residing for the moment) that is on the brink of becoming a dictatorship, and it is eerie to behold the similarity of character of both “leaders”, and of their shenanigans. trump, though, is going at it much faster, already attacking the press as the enemy of the people when he was still only a candidate, for instance. The guy we have here was not a very decent guy, nor a very competent one, from the onset. That said; trump is worse. I’ve never seen anyone as morally bankrupt, as totally bereft of integrity. And not even trying to hide it, in fact, he seems arrogantly proud of it. That some people find this endearing is the really scary part.
    Not much I can do from here. As an outlet for strong emotions though, I write a little. And from time to time during the last year I’ve posted this, strangely enough it has been almost a year since I wrote it.

    ” Once upon a time in a far far faraway land, there was a big, foul, obese dragon called Trumputrid. Trumputrid had become so obese because it gorged itself tremendously on the adulation and cheering of its fawning little cult of subjects. And all the while its already unwholesome brain was turning even more corrupt due to too much power. Trumputrid had, sadly, taken hostage the fair Princess Earth. Every day it tormented her, prodding her with its small, dainty but oh so depraved talons, and it also gleefully contaminated her air with its putrid breath, turning her very skin parched and her hair brittle. As if that wasn’t enough, the deranged dragon bragged about being able to create what it called “Fire and Fury”: if it were to breathe fire onto its own farts, something the hapless Princess hoped to never behold; she had never ever before witnessed farts as enormously explosive as those of Trumputrid the dragon, and she wanted intensely for them to remain unlit.

    Yet another favorite obsession of the dragon, was to concoct all sorts of shady deals with the hierarchy of a land ruled by a figure even more sinister than itself; Poo Thingy the macho bear. Trumputrid had a dream; it wanted Poo Thingy to be its best friend. Hence the relentless attempts to ingratiate itself with the frigid bear, who observed its silly antics and the frenetic bartering from a comfortable distance, quietly aloof and coldly amused. No one knew exactly what was going on in these unsavory dealings, but no one doubted that there were much golden coins, golden loot, golden towers, golden treasures, golden.. well, you name it, involved.
    And no rational mind really doubted that Poo Thingy was maneuvering it all to its own gain, wrapping the gullible dragon around its little claw.
    Ensuring its sway over Trumputrid.
    Ensuring, ultimately, its dominion over the land hitherto ruled by the dragon. The same land in which lay the Village of Juesai.

    Woe! Woe to all..

    But then, one fair day, there came a brave Knight, Mueller was his name. A hardened and shrewd fellow, he had assiduously studied the crooked ways, the sly methods, of the lethargic dragon Trumputrid. Now, mounted on his proud stallion Mandate, firmly clasping the mighty sword Inquest, Knight Mueller charged fiercely at the bloated abomination.

    Something else was happening, something unforeseen. On the ridge of a hill just out of sight from the dragon’s Tower, there painted itself against the murky sky an outline of pitchforks and torches. It was the people of the Village of Juesai. There had among them been heard rumors of devious traps being set against the brave Knight, put in place by sneaky underlings of the dragon. Some also whispered about the ancient lore on the dragon, of predictions believed now to be dangerously near fulfillment; it was said Trumputrid’s ever swelling ego would one day explode, causing an inferno, or that Trumputrid would grow more and more unhinged until in a tantrum it would erupt in violent, world engulfing flames from both front and rear. ‘Fire and Fury’, they whispered, ‘the days of Fire and Fury are upon us’.
    Alas; the signs were many and clear.
    It was not their wont to take to arms, but now desperation and anger took the upper hand amongst the village people. The oppression, the madness and the sheer moral corruption of Trumputrid’s odious reign were being felt stronger and stronger, and with the added threat of Poo Thingy looming over it all, they feared a dystopian future for their children, if any future at all, were they not to take action.

    And thus it was that the good people of Juesai found themselves, grim faced, pitchforks held high, the light of torches guiding their steps, on the heels of the brave Knight Mueller, at the foot of the dreadful Tower that shone with a sickly golden hue in the dusk…..”

    Reply
  • D M 3 weeks ago

    Colbert turning into Letterman 😂😂😂😂😂😂

    Reply
  • Lyserdigi 3 weeks ago

    i still find it hard to believe you missed the obvious pun ..
    “This is Stephen ColBEARD” .. , when introducing yourself..

    Reply
  • Warriors World 3 weeks ago

    I missed this show so much I need this every weeknight

    Reply
  • Slaughter House 5 3 weeks ago

    Finally I can sleep soundly thanks to the return of “Dot..Dot..Dot..Dot..Dot”

    Reply
  • Adasha Stewart 3 weeks ago

    Elf Sessions should destroy trump bf he gets fired then resign knowing he’s next

    Reply
  • ann Gillespie 3 weeks ago

    I love it when you do dot dot dot

    Reply
  • Terra shine 3 weeks ago

    I missed the dot,dot,dot,😂 no one like Colbert to do this.
    Greetings from my country Stephen Colbert.
    I am one of many fans of you right here.

    Reply

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