Trump Touted The Economy As The Stock Market Plunged

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Published on February 6, 2018

Many networks switched from a live feed of President Trump’s speech in Cincinnati about tax cuts and the economy to coverage of the plummeting U.S. stock market.

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19 comments

  • Diego Martin Pintos 2 years ago

    So much winning

    Reply
  • issa osama 2 years ago

    For some reason I had a feeling this would happen! When you are surrounded by Wall Street people you won’t do anything right. These people robbed the people and kicked them out on the street then chilled in their money bags.

    Reply
  • Aroh Rl_9 2 years ago

    Haha Stephen keeping it real

    Reply
  • camelshit 2 years ago

    A passage from The Gulag Archipelago by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn :

    At the conclusion of the conference, a tribute to Comrade Stalin was called for. Of course, everyone stood up (just as everyone had leaped to his feet during the conference at every mention of his name). … For three minutes, four minutes, five minutes, the stormy applause, rising to an ovation, continued. But palms were getting sore and raised arms were already aching. And the older people were panting from exhaustion. It was becoming insufferably silly even to those who really adored Stalin.

    However, who would dare to be the first to stop? … After all, NKVD men were standing in the hall applauding and watching to see who would quit first! And in the obscure, small hall, unknown to the leader, the applause went on – six, seven, eight minutes! They were done for! Their goose was cooked! They couldn’t stop now till they collapsed with heart attacks! At the rear of the hall, which was crowded, they could of course cheat a bit, clap less frequently, less vigorously, not so eagerly – but up there with the presidium where everyone could see them?

    The director of the local paper factory, an independent and strong-minded man, stood with the presidium. Aware of all the falsity and all the impossibility of the situation, he still kept on applauding! Nine minutes! Ten! In anguish he watched the secretary of the District Party Committee, but the latter dared not stop. Insanity! To the last man! With make-believe enthusiasm on their faces, looking at each other with faint hope, the district leaders were just going to go on and on applauding till they fell where they stood, till they were carried out of the hall on stretchers! And even then those who were left would not falter…

    Then, after eleven minutes, the director of the paper factory assumed a businesslike expression and sat down in his seat. And, oh, a miracle took place! Where had the universal, uninhibited, indescribable enthusiasm gone? To a man, everyone else stopped dead and sat down. They had been saved!

    The squirrel had been smart enough to jump off his revolving wheel. That, however, was how they discovered who the independent people were. And that was how they went about eliminating them. That same night the factory director was arrested. They easily pasted ten years on him on the pretext of something quite different. But after he had signed Form 206, the final document of the interrogation, his interrogator reminded him:

    “Don’t ever be the first to stop applauding.”

    “We learn from history that we do not learn from history.” Quote by Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel

    Now it is up to you, dear Americans, to prove him wrong, this time around.

    Reply
  • LOL.at. Trolls 2 years ago

    Perhaps The F^ck!n9 M0r0n believes the plummeting graph is the lateral view blueprint for an exciting roller coaster everyone’s dying to ride.

    So much winning!

    Reply
  • Jason Blade 2 years ago

    Remember this trump rule: trump will take credit for anything positive but will blame any negative things to anyone else but him.

    Reply
  • fidorover 2 years ago

    *_”Thanks, Obama!”_*

    *February 5, 2018 — 3.44 pm ET — Montreal*

    _Former President Barack Obama is seated at a table of ten, as he’s attending a luncheon at an upscale Montreal restaurant._

    PRESIDENT OBAMA: … and so I told the doctor, “Look, for the last time, that’s not one of Michelle’s organic zucchinis, that’s my–

    _The former president suddenly seems out of sorts, a bit jolted._

    PRESIDENT OBAMA: … Um, I uhh…
    WOMAN AT TABLE: Is something wrong, Mr. President?
    PRESIDENT OBAMA: Well, ya see, ever since Trump took over and started blaming me for anything and everything, I’ve developed this sorta — shall we say — sixth sense. I know at any given moment when he’s said something bad about me. I can feel it. It’s palpable. And I just felt something a second ago there. Anyway–
    MAN AT TABLE: Mr. President, I just got an alert that the Dow is down over a thousand points.
    PRESIDENT OBAMA: Bingo. That’s gonna be _my_ fault by this evening. Mark my words.
    WOMAN AT TABLE: But that’s insane. How could _you_ possibly have an effect on the markets when you’ve been out of office for over a year?
    PRESIDENT OBAMA: Betsy, why does the Mississippi Scamp Turtle wake up every day and spin around three times before hitting its head on a rock, causing a self-inflicted wound?
    WOMAN AT TABLE: Well, I dunno, I supp–
    PRESIDENT OBAMA: Of course you don’t know. Cuz it makes no earthly sense to anyone capable of rational thought. That’s the Trump presidency: there’s a lot of stuff you see and have no rational explanation for. Side note: in keeping with my “Trump theme” I made up everything about the Mississippi Scamp Turtle — including the name. It’s as real as the three million illegals who voted for Hillary.

    _The table enjoys a hearty laugh._

    *February 5, 2018 — 3.44 pm ET — Cincinnati, Ohio*

    STEPHEN MILLER: Mr. President, I–
    PRESIDENT TRUMP: Hey, it’s Friar Forehead. I’ve built condos on less real estate than that fivehead of yours.
    STEPHEN MILLER: I prefer “Stephen,” sir. And I do appreciate that you tell me that joke three or more times per day. But we just found out that while you were speaking about how great the economy is, all three cable news networks cut away to breaking news that the Dow is down over a thousand points, the biggest single day drop in history.
    PRESIDENT TRUMP: Obama’s fault. Clearly. Get me Hannity.

    _Stephen dials, then hands the phone to the president._

    PRESIDENT TRUMP: (into phone) Hey Schmoopy.
    SEAN HANNITY: (playfully) No, _you’re_ Schmoopy.
    PRESIDENT TRUMP: No, _you’re_ Schmoopy. Anyhoozles, I just found out that the Dow is down over a thousand and it’s gonna make me look bad. So go on your little puppet show tonight and say the plunge is all Obama’s fault. I mean, it _is_ Black History Month, so _you_ do the math.
    SEAN HANNITY: Okay, I mean, of course it’s Obama’s fault… clearly. But I’m not sure I can blame Black History Month. I think we might have black people who work here. Can’t say for sure, but I think I’ve seen some around.
    PRESIDENT TRUMP: Well, just blame Obama somehow. Pull something out of your ass. That’s the head writer on your show, isn’t it?
    SEAN HANNITY: Who?
    PRESIDENT TRUMP: Your butthole.
    SEAN HANNITY: Well, I mean–
    PRESIDENT TRUMP: Okay, gotta run. Now _you_ hang up.
    SEAN HANNITY: _(playfully)_ No, _you_ hang up.
    PRESIDENT TRUMP: No, _you_ hang up.

    *February 5, 2018 — 3.46 pm ET — Montreal*

    _Former President Barack Obama is still seated at the table of ten, but no one is speaking, as they are all enjoying their mixed greens._

    MAN AT TABLE: So are we gonna hear the rest of that zucchini joke, or…?

    Reply
  • 223Drone 2 years ago

    Trump’s fiscal year started in October in 2017 and already the worst drop in stock market history has occurred under his watch.

    Reply
  • alexphotoman 2 years ago

    Are we all tired of winning yet? ?

    Reply
  • Jason Blade 2 years ago

    Complaining that the opposing party (which you insult on the daily) to be treasonous because they don’t clap for your lies is North Korean level of crazy.
    No wonder he called the dictator there “a smart cookie”

    Reply
  • R. m 2 years ago

    Apparently cadet bone spurs is only responsible for the stock market when it’s doing well, probably will blame Obama or bengazhi for the downfall.

    Reply
  • Tuna Sandwich 2 years ago

    Wow… So lonely when you’re early

    Reply
  • Taylor Craig Newbold 2 years ago

    Only Trump could brag about not being braggy.

    Reply
  • Tank 2 years ago

    Hello *darkness* my old friend… trump didn’t make America great again
    The Dow Jones just took a beating…no doubt due to some fool tweeting…

    Reply
  • Jerricola 2 years ago

    You couldn’t make this any more perfect, thank you comedic timing stock market.

    Reply
  • AT22 2 years ago

    Anyone who loses money on Wall Street deserve it as much as those who go to Vegas. Just another form of legalized gambling.

    Reply
  • andromidius 2 years ago

    Say it with me everyone.

    The Stock Market is a scam. It doesn’t actually do anything, yet steals all our money anyway.

    Reply
  • BladeWinters 2 years ago

    Not going to a movie, Disney is not going to like that

    Reply
  • BabakoSen 2 years ago

    Meanwhile the Kochs are set to gain an extra BILLION $ PER YEAR b/c of the GOP tax bills.

    Reply

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