Trump Thinks He Invented The Fourth Of July

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Published on March 8, 2019

To distract from his ongoing struggles on immigration, trade, and budget deficits, the President has invented a new holiday called ‘the Fourth of July.’

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20 comments

  • bmj_doodle 1 year ago

    While I’m sure he means the celebration, with Trump it seems equally possible he thinks he invented a day on the calendar.

    Reply
  • Earl Gray 1 year ago

    * * * ” Oh Canada,”
    The USA will trade you a T. for a T. Please, Please, Please ? On second thought I have many friends in wonderful Canada and sending Trump there would be dreadfully cruel as Donald is the “ANTI-CHRIST”
    PS: Also Trudeau is handsome and possibly dishonest, while Trump is a dreadful BUTT-UGLY CRIMINAL MAGGOT.
    OI vey !

    Reply
  • Earl Gray 1 year ago

    * * * In stark contrast to the class, elegance, and sophistication, of President Barack Obama and his stunning wife First Lady Michelle this is what dreadful level the Trumps have dragged The United States of America DOWN to. I have just returned from extensive business travel in Europe and people in other countries are still hysterical about the appearance of Donny & Malania Trump’s trailer trash appearance & conduct while visiting The Queen of England. Foreign business associates invited me to a pub that entertained via big screen TV’s showing actual footage of world leaders with hilarious captions added. The club owner told me that Trump with his “unmade bed appearance” and Mylonia’s silicon bowling ball breast implants, as well as the world population loathing them, patrons are requesting the Trump’s exclusively ! The tavern was filled with laughter during video of the Frump’ s visit during Queen Elizabeth’s inspection of The Guard. Trump was a total slob, hideous hair, panda bear eyes, tan from a can, fat ass, abdominal cellulite sloppily protruding, rumpled attire, on and on. And he had no clue as to what is known as “protocol” in the presence of actual royalty as he waddled like a duck his obesity eclipsing Her Majesty during the inspection. And her look of discust was identical to that of the vast world population, especially Americans when seeing the Trump’s total lack of poise. Then we have his Mrs. with her “Putin-esque” Russian sounding accent, hideously oversized silicon breast implants, Botox pumped lips, (she could French kiss a moose) while wearing a grossly undersized, passe pastel pink outfit. When Malania (a well documented college dropout, and “chain immigrant”) was filmed from behind the skirt was so tight that the every detail of her deformed ass was completely visible. Simply vulgar. (you can’t polish a Turd). I have never been more embarrassed to be an American in my entire life. OiVey !

    Reply
  • LeoFan93 1 year ago

    Hey, I got this crazy idea. On the last day of October, let’s all dress up and go to strangers’ houses and demand for candy. I call it the “Salute To Spooky Things”.

    Reply
  • Rahul Kajjam 1 year ago

    “take his signature issue, racism” ??? im dead

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  • Danny 1 year ago

    Meanwhile?

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  • Dave C 1 year ago

    I am a tariff man…

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  • AJ Welsh 1 year ago

    The Trump presidency is a Tom Clancy novel that his publisher said was too crazy to publish because no one would believe it .

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  • Vader Minion 1 year ago

    Colbert is my painkillers to help me through the Trump induced pain in my neck.

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  • Billis Lopez 1 year ago

    Another day, another boost to Obama’s legacy and the next Democratic president’s cache of public goodwill. Thanks Don ?

    Reply
  • thiefofa1073 1 year ago

    Sorry America, like anti-vaxxers you deserve what you’re getting…

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  • Caden McCully 1 year ago

    Hi Stephen!

    Reply
  • Jeremy Mettler 1 year ago

    With fake Americans surprised you all don’t demand it stopped real news now days is anti freedom division news yet you all whin trump won’t matter who president if no country all these pukes obviously bought of you obviously let money donate it’s way in so they could buy all canidates only way to get there your so great of thinkers you say or guess I wrong or someone else would say your good best friend or you would look but just guess I wrong refused to look until fake fucks killed my country unamerican fucks

    Reply
  • Blak 1 year ago

    *H E Y !*
    As a certified Caribbean Man, I take offense to you using “Banana Boat Song (Day O)” from Harry Belafonte for such a scumbucket as Drumph. xD Use Nickleback instead! (Love to Canada btw ♥).

    Reply
  • Jeff Hambleton 1 year ago

    All around the world. Hi from Thailand

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  • Mickiddy Michael 1 year ago

    No captions? Or does it take a bit?

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  • JD 1 year ago

    I need this laughs tonight ? it’s been a long week ?

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  • DesertDaisy Marie 1 year ago

    ?? I’m confused.. Don’t the people that attended CPAC know about the Fourth of July?? I’m Australian and I know about it ?

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  • AJ Welsh 1 year ago

    It’s insane that his tweets will be remembered forever.

    Reply
  • J J 1 year ago

    It’s not America’s last season for immigration, yet. We still have the spin off when the war on immigration turns into the Game of Drones.

    Reply

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