All the news and jokes you missed from the week of May 3.
Late Night with Seth Meyers.
Watch Late Night with Seth Meyers Weeknights 12:35/11:35c on NBC.
Get more Late Night with Seth Meyers: http://www.nbc.com/late-night-with-seth-meyers/
All the news and jokes you missed from the week of May 3.
Late Night with Seth Meyers.
Watch Late Night with Seth Meyers Weeknights 12:35/11:35c on NBC.
Get more Late Night with Seth Meyers: http://www.nbc.com/late-night-with-seth-meyers/
Howdy!
ReplyT****** GTFO.
ReplyWhile the full audience show is nice and all, this has been a consistent comforting format in the meantime
ReplyI didn’t want to comment about being early to a video, but being this early to a youtube video is wack, but not nearly as wack as one of our previous presidents being an orange
ReplyPlease update your show
Waiting for laughter after making a joke makes sense when you have a studio audience… But there’s a reason you don’t see YouTubers doing it, because there’s no audience so it just feels cringy.
ReplySide note: MAGA: Make Attorneys Get Attorneys. 👌
ReplyDr. Joe Biden? Man, you are messed up! I call corrections. No holiday for you, my friend!
ReplyAdvire-sers?
Missed a correction this week, I see.
ReplyIn Arizona… they’re looking for “slivers of bamboo” in the ballots that allegedly shipped over from China.
ReplyNot even joking…
The Putin papaerweight voice on Biden’s desk joke was funny. Seth should have done a Putin voice maybe
ReplyCongress joke was on 🎯
Reply“First Lady Dr. Joe Biden” ????
ReplyWhy republish an old segment
ReplyReally? This was uploaded an hour ago and has crap I’ve already seen? WTF?
ReplyRepublicans: 100% of my focus is on stopping the biden administration
ReplyAlso Republicans: man, why doesn’t the biden administration want to be bipartisan and work with us?
Why are the Bidens so huge in that photo? 🤣🤣🤣
ReplySethyour gettingworse! Lighten up America needs Biden and ffs why isn’t trump in jail you Americans ! Useless to yourselves
ReplyCan we start calling trump supporters “repubtards”?
ReplyNice
Replytrump is seriously the BIGGEST LOSER…who loses One election 67 times>?..maga does..b ahbahbhabhabhabhabhabhbab
ReplyThis is a great video…. So inspiring but do anyone knows about expert Mr George Ronald. Mr George Ronald is legit and his method works like magic I keep on earning every single week with him new strategy
ReplyMy 12yr old enjoyed that
Reply45 is in no position to call for anything. He had his chance and blew it.
ReplyI don’t know who you are “voice over” Trent? But your voice is great
ReplyI guess, I prefer either they have the full vids or summaries of the various portions… not both… it’s like they’re double-dipping their chip in our cheese and that’s just off limits…
ReplyThe only thing worse than a nasal swab is a used nasal swab.
ReplyPlease Merrick get trump et all into jail. We are sick of this criminal being at large.
ReplySeth, just wanted to say…. “We Love You TOO”…….
ReplyThat’s sad that the Gates family are breaking up after 27yrs of marriage. I hope they live happy lives. Sending love from Ireland 🇮🇪
ReplySeth Meyers trump vs Biden call for ballot raises limits consistent awesomeness job
ReplyLmao 🤣😆😂😁
ReplyAsking your mom to prom but she’s already going with someone else 🤣 golden..
ReplyMore M*A*S*H references please!
ReplyI AM TIRED OF TRUMP! JUST GO AWAY, man!
ReplySome one really needs to sit Trump down and explain he lost.
Hey Trump you Lost! Get over it Snowflake
ReplyTrump should be allowed to do as many ballot recounts as he wants…personally…under close and constant supervision…in an extremely secure location. That should shut him the f*ck up for awhile.
Reply‘I won the 2020 election’ will be written on his gravestone.
Reply“Let it rip” is from Beyblade not Pokémon, Seth. 🥸
ReplyIt took a minute to get used to the quarantine style of the show, but dammit Seth Meyers you and your writers pulled it off. God bless you for bringing your consistently side splitting mastery of comedy to the huddled masses. With or without an audience, the comedy relief has been medicine for the soul during this time. Bravo! P.S. The picture of the Bidens and Carters is so adorable. The ventriloquist reference and 40 foot Bidens was pure gold 😀
Replythat heather grey crew neck thick nit 20% spandex fitted j crew long sleeved pullover tho
ReplyI think they’re writers are just thinking up worse and worse. Please move tf on……
ReplyBill Gates upgraded to OS-Ex….
ReplySometimes I just don’t think Seth loves his job anymore.
ReplyI understand. Stay better be happy, stay anyway.
Why does Seth still talk only about Trump? Doesn’t he have any other content or is he running a secret agenda? So tired of!!!
ReplySeth has been watching too much Trump, now he’s drinking with 2 hands…
ReplyYou’d think that people stuck at home without much to do even if they worked at home would have more sex, not less. Very strange how a pandemic effects people. Should be studied in depth.
ReplyScollins a double threat! #LNSM
ReplyYo Seth, completely unsolicited, you should do a short on the sides haircut.
ReplyYouTube censors with president faces
ReplyI’ve gotten sniz on the reg more often during the pandemic than ever before. Best thing that ever happened to me.
ReplyWhy are the Bidens so huge.
ReplyHolla at ya boy Scollins!!!
Replywas the boat narrow or the canal…?
Reply“Where…., is your mouth?”
ReplyBiden and Democrats care more about illegals than the American citizen
ReplyBiden, democrats and liberals are intent on destroying the US and turn it into a third world country.
ReplySkollins is THE MAN!!!!!
ReplyThe whole point of the Carters photo is so that Biden can whip it out whenever someone says he’s too old.
Reply45th thinks that he is Kim 2.0
ReplyThe year is 2062, the 153rd recount has been completed. Now that enough people have died of old age, Republicans sue claiming Democrats who since died voted in the election. As they should have, like their own terrible spouses and children, they sacrificed to the tomb of Trump so that it doesn’t get angry and spam ghost tweets
ReplyThe same could also be said for Dallas-Fort Worth International 😆
Replyhttps://youtu.be/S1HJ9mATwik 😂
ReplyHow about asking your mom to prom only to find out she is going with your best friend
ReplyI feel like these jokes are giving me cancer. Trevor Noah is the only funny one these days. Even Colbert is losing it.
ReplyI bet the doctors were ordered to do a had recount when they reported how small the mushroom Trump has.
ReplyDoes he realize let it rip is a Beyblade reference to end his Pokémon joke?
Reply@Late Night with Seth Meyers
ReplyShortly after the Election. Arizona did 2 yes 2 machine Audit’s!
The thing I don’t get!
Is how did they do that,
Without the Admin Password?
Could you Please Educate us!
Thx!
https://youtu.be/Xs7eOAM2JVQ
Reply@0:29 “advirsors” [sic]
ReplyHemmingway once wrote. “Everything is right, untill it’s all wrong. you’ll know when it’s all wrong!”
Replyahhhhh, I think I get it: Trump can’t lose, so if he loses, it’s because he actually won by a landslide and there’s fraud. Same with most Republicans. I mean, the only other explanation is that Trump and Republicans are pathetic sore losers who’ve lost the ability to critically assess information and only accept info which confirms their preconceived biases.
ReplyIf you want to impersonate Germans here is how
ReplyV’s become F’s
W’s become V’s
And every street, boulevard, avenue, highway, etc is named strasse after where it’s going so Rockville Pike becomes Rockville straße
Say Volkswagen as FolksVagen and you will light up your comments with Germans losing their minds because you said it close to correct.
Koala Tea control?
Reply7 times now, 7 freaking times the YouTube algorithm has put on this episode.
Fix yourself YouTube!!!
ReplyAm digging “Is there anything more pathetic” in relation to Trump. An inexhaustive list.
ReplyI guess digidog is disconcerting the angels now.
Reply2:23 ➡️ livegirls19. com ⤵️
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💖🖤在整個人類歷史上，強者，富人和具有狡猾特質的人捕食部落，氏族，城鎮，城市和鄉村中的弱者，無`’守和貧窮成員。然而，人類的生存意願迫使那些被拒絕，被剝奪或摧毀的基本需求的人們找到了一種生活方式，並繼續將其DNA融入不斷發展的人類社會。.
說到食物，不要以為那些被拒絕的人只吃垃圾。相反，他們學會了在被忽視的肉類和蔬菜中尋找營養。他們學會了清潔，切塊，調味和慢燉慢燉的野菜和肉類，在食品市場上被忽略的部分家用蔬菜和肉類，並且學會了使用芳香的木煙（如山核桃，山核桃和豆科灌木 來調味g食物煮的時候 1620464884
ReplyTrump is so desperate. Can he just fade away pls, like a freaking nightmare.🙄
Reply7:02 but I thought he said they were anti-fascists… is he now claiming to support ANTIFA? 🧐
Reply7:02 but I thought he said they were anti-fascists… is he now saying he supports ANTIFA? 🧐
ReplyScollins is my hero! 😂
Reply“And They’re Off!”.. said Americans about their TVs 🏇🤣 The man is a legend
ReplyThe GOP is going to give us Americans what we got coming to us, just you wait and see, we’ll be punished for being a free people.
Reply5:31 – Seth, correction time! “Bacterium” is the singular of “bacteria.” What do I win?
Reply9:35 – Yeah, um, let’s see your profile, Seth.
ReplyIf the ahole wants a recount make him pay for the recount of course he would burn Arizona with a no payment . Pay up front.
ReplyFacebook announced Donald Trump won’t be using his Oculus Quest 2 anytime soon.
ReplyOMG science has finally vindicated what I’ve been trying to tell my gf’s for YEARS! It’s not the hands, or the feet, or anything else…it’s their nose! It gives u a very good idea of what you’ll b working with down there. Also, the guy who’s got nothing to prove… that’s the 1 u want.
ReplyJust want to point out that the id of this video in the URL is “Raadijffmek.”
ReplyStalin Said It Is Not Who Votes ! It Is Who Counts The Votes !
ReplyNarcissists can’t accept reality
ReplyWhy come even before I saw the collage, I knew it would be a joke about Ben A. and his romances. 😂💗😏
Reply“I fear to look, but cannot look away” is my title for any report on the GOP
Reply🤣 POPCORN 😂
ReplyOh My Goidlygoodness that was a nice one! 🤣😂🤣
4 minute bridge: 3 pr underwear? Just wear brown pants.
ReplyWELCOME TO HOTTEST DATING ZONE
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Reply!💖🖤❤️#今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！#１万人を超える人が見ていたもん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした,.💖🖤 #在整個人類歷史上，#強者，#富人和具有狡猾特質的人捕食部落，#氏族，#城鎮，#城市和鄉村中的弱者，#無`’#守和貧窮成員。#然而，#人類的生存意願迫使那些被拒絕，#被剝奪或摧毀的基本需求的人們找到了一種生活方式，#並繼續將其DNA融入不斷發展的人類社會。.#說到食物，#不要以為那些被拒絕的人只吃垃圾。#相反，#他們學會了在被忽視的肉類和蔬菜中尋找營養。#他們學會了清潔，#切塊，#調味和慢燉慢燉的野菜和肉類，#在食品市場上被忽略的部分家用蔬菜和肉類，#並且學會了使用芳香的木煙（#如山核桃，#山核桃和豆科灌木 #來調味食2**
Scollins! 🙃
ReplyGoing dark, with Travis
ReplyAsking your mom to prom and she’s already going with the guy with whom your wife had an affair, while you finish the unpacking– including her underwear drawer, in his new 1-bedroom apartment
ReplyNo? Still the “recount”, huh?
you’re a Conspiracy Theorist it’s the People of Arizona doing the AUDIT nothing to Do with Trump, you’re a BOGUS Commenter and NOT a Journalist !
ReplyMajor }*{
ReplyWhat a joke of a human being DT is
Reply– except that he’s not funny.
WE SHOULD STOP CALLING IT THE WHITE HOUSE… IT SHOULD BE KNOWN AS THE PRESIDENTIAL ESTATE
ReplyThoughts?
ReplyDonnie should be down there looking for bamboo with the other idiots.
ReplyI hope they keep this style after things reopen, I prefer the banter between staff to the live audience
ReplyAre you working out? Noticed your arms in that sweater.
ReplyAnd seriously, only the male writers storned the cue cards over the health benefits of eating nuts?
ReplyIntroducing: 99 Snarks by Women About the Eating Nuts Thing:
I”ll start:.
1 Say Women: “No, thanks, I’ll keep the spare tire,”
The dead in your eyes after the pokemon joke made the joke 50% funnier. The Bill gates joke would have been funnier if you said it was because he wouldn’t do the dishes or take out the trash. Then show the recycle bin. Then say, its been there so long its attracting mice. Then show a pic of a bin full of old computer mice. 🤓 I’m an IT guy. 😊
ReplyI loved the “TRAVIS” reference. I still cry at the book.
ReplyI prefer pandemic seth over polished show host seth!😂
ReplyWe’ve been propping up the Afghanistan government for 20 years. If they still can’t take care of themselves it’s a freaking lost cause.
Replythe airport has people movers-duh
ReplyWTF is a ghost 🔫
ReplySeth, the ageism is wearing thin, you’re better than that!
Replythat carnival barker is STILL howling for a ballot recount? FFS man get ahold of yourself instead of ahold of the women for once
ReplyOh no don’t you get woke on me !
ReplyDad -joke
Like the show and have been watching for the last four years. BUT, Seth! ….enough of the trump impressions!!! Please stop. So sick of that guy!!!! The less attention you give him, the quicker he becomes more irrelevant.
Replywow you people are literally brainless.
Replyno wonder kek
Oh man, you missed the chance for a good thread of jokes about Newsmax. They had a segment about Biden picking the dandelion and at the end of it the host sort of casually mentions that it might have been “planted on purpose” but he clearly meant planted in the sense of an agency planting evidence, and did not make the ironic connection between planting and flowers…
But back to his theory: So the Deep State, which is no longer working in opposition to the White House purposefully planted a dandelion where the President would see it and decide to pick it as a cheesy romantic gesture for his wife…And this is somehow a nefarious thing? I still don’t get what the point of that segment was. Maybe someone else can enlighten me on how the mind of an insane right wing ‘journalist’ works.
Maybe they think it’s how they ensure that his cloned memories have taken root in his clone brain. If you think I’m joking that they think Biden is a clone and the original Biden is no longer alive…Well, I’m not. Go and see for yourself, the entire QAnon cult is adamantly convinced of the high ranking clone replacement conspiracy, but none of them can explain even one aspect of the technology without clearly ripping off ideas from sci-fi movies like The Sixth Day.
ReplyThis is exactly why your ratings have tanked TRUMP2024 WITHOUT CHEATING
ReplyLies Lies Lies what a joke of a man cheated to get in and acting as he can handle it – Don’t forget only 8% is going to the CCP-Virus help and it will cost every American Taxpaying couple 69K and every tax-paying person 17K each Real smart bozo don’t worry patriots 2022 and 2024 will tell the real story of who really won and we will do this without the Treasonous RINO’s and Socialist DEMS cheating again.
fine, relevance
ReplyConsidering Japan has completely dropped the ball on vaccinating their people, with only 2% of their population is fully vaccinated, it’s not surprising people involved with the upcoming planned Olympics there will have Covid-19. I’m thinking Japan is NOT the best location to hold this massive World Wide event there at this time…
ReplyPsychology 101…President Biden: “So if you ungrateful Americans REALLY don’t want to take your vaccines, then we will be giving your doses away to the poor people in other Countries who are STARVING for it!”
ReplyI love you Seth
ReplyGood fresh format. Great lines. Joyful delivery. Fun. Keep developing.
ReplyThe nasal swab thing should be segued into China’s anal swab testing. “Spread your cheeks for COVID test”.
ReplyTwitter Facebook 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
ReplyI love Seth Meyers… That said… This episode was awkward
ReplyThe first 7 minutes were repeats.
ReplyAgain?!!!
ReplyLove you Seth
ReplySeriously how has no body even talked about how CRINGE this is…. y’all care too much about dumbass politics
ReplyLiterally this show was a disaster, if you picked up on anything Seth was pissed, he’s had it. Ahh….
i firmly believe that melinda gates was just roger bart in a wig….this whole time…
ReplyAsking your Mother to your Prom and she says “With you?!, as if”.
ReplyWatch out Biden were coming for you
ReplyYou are useless hope you know that
ReplyIn a group that’s pulling the strings
ReplyGod bless Desantis
ReplyOur best hope
ReplyYou liberals never got over the fact that Hillary lost. Republicans are just doing what you did.
ReplyI like the casual nature of Seth’s videos. It’s like having a friend talking in your living room. Ribbing the writers? Sure why not? That’s funny all by itself.
ReplyMore refugees, more illegals, more future Democrat voters. Be honest, that’s what this is all about.
ReplyTry not to laugh challenge: fail
The ventriloquist joke got me.🤣
ReplyThe harris/biden administration are traitors to our nation!
Reply#savesheikhjarrah please guys check out what the media wont cover !
ReplyThe more in a good way your staff becomes dysfunctional the better your show gets.
ReplySeems I’m getting deleted. Have a great life people!
ReplyLol. Please recount them. So we can all see that he is “still” a loser.
ReplyI got the first vaccine.
ReplyYeah *totally* like how there was a recount in Florida back in 2000…Granted there was (and probably still some) resentment, people managed to moved on.
ReplyI swear I thought this was an old video based on the title lol
ReplyOoh I feel like you missed a gem with ‘Asking your mom to prom but she’s too busy helping the guy your wife had an affair with move.’
ReplyMaking jokes about Germans who fail to catch them all huh? Treading on thin ice.
ReplyExcept in cold weather 🙂🙂
ReplyIT’S TOO SOON FOR OL’ YELLER!
ReplyChinese rocket re-entered the Earth’s atmosphere at 02:24 GMT on Sunday and disintegrated over the Indian Ocean near Maldives, following fevered speculation over where the 18-tonne object would come down.
ReplyCome up with something besides age jokes
Reply3:18
ReplyHuh?
He legitimately believes he lost for no reason other than the fact that he lost.
ReplyFinally Skollins voice overs!
ReplyWait? AOL still exists? I’m legit shocked.
Reply6:12: That’s not a narrow canal boat in England.
ReplyTrump has Melania point a flashlight into his ears daily to do a recount of his brain cells. Amazingly both are still there.
ReplyIf employer based insurance was so great wouldn’t you also get your motorcycle and boat insurance with them?
ReplyDrumpf legitimately believes he did not lose for no reason other than the fact that he lost.
ReplyWhat about the damage Trump did during covid-19. Trump calls at the China virus, when they should be calling it the Trump virus since he killed more people..by telling everyone the virus wasn’t a big deal in February 2020 after telling one of his friends how deadly the virus is.. how many people would have survived if Trump acted sooner and told people the truth.
ReplyOk l no
ReplyOk
Recounts are DONE. Election is OVER. The Arizona “recount” is illegal and a total waste of the taxpayers’ money it is costing. It is being done by a clearly biased company that won’t be properly observed. Their handling of ballots is CLEARLY SUSPECT.
ReplyWhat a Joke of a man – No wonder your loosing your audience
ReplyThere are only 40M Marxist Voters and over 80M Patriots
DNC = Democrats Now Communists
BLM = Biden’s Laptop Matters
DEMS = Dirty Elections Made Simple
DEI = Discriminate Everyone Intimidate
Democracy without the Republic is Tyranny
US States have more power than the PODUS – (Even the Cheater one)
marxist disguised as democrats are now in power
The real truth will come out 2022 – unless the DEMS cheat again
Woops, tripped over an idiot’s nest. I’m out of here: Listen Political Scientologist go try the religion it’s likely just what you were looking for.
ReplyI keep recounting the contents of my wallet. Yep , still broke.
Reply@Late Night with Seth Meyers
ReplyAdam Schiff was supposed to stop Trump completely! With his more than “Circumstantial Evidence”of Treason by Colluding with the Russians! Also just like Brennan, Clapper, Rice and far to many other’s to list! TOLD US ALL! But when Adam had them behind closed doors! UNDER OATH! They all stated they had nothing! Not even hear say! I think they where threatened to say that! Maybe by Antifa or BLM! Cause those 3 are also True Patriots Like Mr. Schiff! So I’m gonna still wait! Never lose Faith! Just like with this Ridiculous Arizona Audit! The Truth always shines through! AND WILL BE PROVEN! That Biden won in the Cleanest Election Ever! And is The Most Popular President Ever! With the most Votes Ever! I can’t wait for Orange man to eat his words!
ALL HAIL OUR SAVIOR!!
Biden
I love hearing the phrase President Joe Biden💕
ReplyIt really is a weird picture. It’s like they ate the biscuits from Alice in Wonderland.
ReplyThis “closer look” format is amazing, without the audience, its so calm and it doesnt have those “annoying” laughs
Replydid he say dr joe biden 😂
ReplyWhat did dick Wolfe offer satin
ReplyOmg why is america even considering this recount thing…I thought they already dd this…to me it seems trump have brought enough people/businesses to play dirty and mislead the counting of votes…let it go trump you had your chance
ReplyI know the answer to the question about where Mitch McConnell’s mouth is but YouTube won’t let me post it.
ReplyA gates divorce! WOW …
Reply#SaveSheikhJarrah #FreePalestine 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸
ReplyPack it in Seth. There is a a small Virgin Island you can buy, you can retire there. These second string writers you have are burying you.
Reply.2% of the worlds population hahahahaha hahahahaha hahahahaha I stand with Whhhhoooo ????? Dear Seth I’m afraid that once Lauren go’s , your next ! NBC wants its network back!
ReplyGET A LIVE AUDIENCE OR BETTER WRITERS.. YOUR IMPERSONATIONS INSTEAD OF GENUINELY FUNNY PUNCH LINES, ARE IS GETTING OLD 🙁
ReplyWhere did you find that “Travis” clip?
Replylol…i just got an Aol email account last week…im 59
ReplyOMG… Yes pathetic… totally ego inanity….
ReplyI too would call for a ballout recount if I got balled on that hard
ReplyBiden corrupt. Americans blind to it.
ReplyWhen trump builds his new multi million dollars a year b.s. I hope they tax him good, fn funny 😆 may but him in new criminal tax bracket 😂
ReplyThat’s “had an affair *with”.
ReplyOut of curiosity, how many times, per voting electorate, can Trump order a recount?
ReplySecondly, at what point will the American Administration/legal system/whatever, say enough is enough, declare that the Presidency has been decided, and let the government get on with running the country? Just curious.
that’s not an English narrow boat
ReplySeth. Ur german accent is terrible. XD
ReplyI laughed at the robo dog joke, but not fully understood the joke, I’m guessing the inventor of the robot dog’s name is Travis?lol always funny 😭👍
ReplyThat’s a good way to inoculate people.🤷🏽♀️ 🤣
ReplyRecount 🤣😂🤣😂
ReplyCorrection! The pokemonas bacteria story … so they were called that because they’re the same shape??? What, a ball‽ went and did sone research, (unlike your writers !) and it’s called that because the bacteria lives inside amoeba , like a Pokémon lives inside the poke balls . And no sorry, I’m not German 😁
Reply*looks at the Biden Carter pic* so um… Ventriloquist dummies, huh?
Reply