‘Tough Cookie’ Jeff Sessions Defends Himself Against Trump’s Attacks

Published on March 1, 2018

Stephen gives the yummy Attorney General the floor for much longer than the five-second rule.

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  • goblinounours 3 years ago

    I could be one of the first here, so I might as well indulge myself.


  • Pacmanshooter 3 years ago

    oh wow, 8 views, no up- or downvotes? XD

  • CaffieKuriboh 3 years ago

    Whoo! like number 10!

  • 4c1dr3fl3x 3 years ago

    Sessions: “All right, listen. The Mueller’s an investigation unit: part man, part machine. Underneath, it’s a hyper-legal combat chassis, microprocessor-controlled. Fully armored; very tough. But outside, it’s living human tissue: flesh, skin, hair, blood – grown for the prosecutor.”
    Trump: “But I can just fire him.”
    Sessions: “Pay attention! I gotta recuse myself……The Comey series had rubber skin. We spotted them easy. But these are new, they look human. Sweat, bad breath, everything. Very hard to spot. I had to wait till he moved on you before I could zero him.”
    Trump: “But I’m the President!”
    Sessions: “Listen, and understand! That Special Prosecutor is out there. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are indicted!”

    The Muellinator. It’ll get ya.

  • Dave H. 3 years ago

    Now I want cookies.

  • Austin Faulds 3 years ago

    I wanna see Jeff Sessions and Donald Trump in a duel together.


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