The New York City Marathon, the Midterm Elections – Monologue



  • StilasCzech 7 months ago

    Good Morning everyone.

  • Anjuli Kamins 7 months ago

    The seal bit just has so much more to it if you’ve watched TUSK recently

  • Alternative Spicer 7 months ago

    For you who vote today, you deserve1:49

  • camelshit 7 months ago

    ” *The Night The Mare Came A-Grabbing* ” – A Tale From The Trumplight Zone

     ‘Twas a lovely starlit night beyond the lights of the city, when a blood-curdling scream brutally shattered the relative quiet.
    It came from the white house. trump continued to screech although he now was fully awake, trashing heavily about in his sweat soaked bed, desperately trying to get free of the wet, clinging sheets. Never had he had a nightmare like this; it was pure horror. He heaved for air and started sobbing and howling pitifully. The nightmare had been so terribly vivid, and it felt so real still, so terribly, unfamiliarly real…

    In his dream he had woken up, turned on the TV as usual, and there was nothing there about HIM!
    Not even Fox news talked about him. Not even CNN. There was not a word, and not a picture of him anywhere on social media, nor in any newspaper. No mention of him anywhere on the radio, either.
    Next thing he knew, he was holding a news conference. But something was dreadfully wrong; the TV cameras were not rolling, the journalists were not taking notes nor raising their arms to ask questions. Frantic, with a crumbling sensation, he regaled them with the most magnificent lie he could think of; to be met with turning backs and graveyard silence. It was as if all hot air leaked out of him, he felt like he was imploding.
    All of a sudden he found himself standing in the middle of 5th Avenue; there were people everywhere, people smiling and talking, buying ice cream and popcorn from street vendors, hoisting laughing children onto their shoulders as if awaiting some kind of celebrations. No one even looked his way. The panic he felt was suffocating, petrifying. He felt as though he was losing all sense of himself. The voices of the multitude surrounding him faded, until there was an absolute silence. Suddenly a shot rang out, and he recoiled in fear. But the people around him took no notice, and continued oblivious of him; they were a colorful crowd, a joyous crowd, a hugely immense crowd. He felt a paralyzing desolation. The sudden, sharp sound, he now realized, had come from within him; a crack, and it was followed by several smaller cracks, as if something brittle, dry and porous was breaking up. And an awful smell filled his nostrils, of something stale and greasy. It made him gag, as he did so his eyes fell on his arms, and that was when the scream that woke him exploded from his throat.
    His arms were disintegrating. They were turning into orange particles that floated, shimmering, in the air before him.

    Shaking his head as though trying to rid it of the horrid impressions from the nightmare, trump slowly became aware of noises around him; doors banging, people shouting, running steps approaching. Still sobbing but feeling slightly comforted by the sound of people, he turned on the light, just as fists started banging on his door and voices shouted for him to open, asking if he was OK. He managed to twist himself free from the stubbornly clutching bedclothes, almost falling out on the floor in so doing. There was a sharp crack from his back.
    As trump stumbled soggily towards the door, light fell onto tiny puddles of sweat among the folds of his sheets; orange dust floated, shimmering, on the surface. And just as trump reached out a dwindling tiny hand towards the doorknob, the smell from the nightmare brusquely, lividly, assaulted his nostrils again: something stale, greasy, cheesy…

    …………………….. ………………………

  • Somme Tinonme 7 months ago

    Where are the bikers for Trump ?? Ooh probably angry that Trump cause Harley Davidson to close factories in the USA because of Trumps stupid Tariffs.

  • freaker126 7 months ago

    lol. the side clapping seal. :p

  • Action Hiro 7 months ago

    The North American Indians Call Trump

    ” Wrestling with Umbrella “

  • Norina Jimeno 7 months ago

    The seal punchline was a lot funnier than I’d like to admit.

  • Voice Of Reason 7 months ago

    I’m just here for the meltdown..

  • Mikael Vasara radio promo 7 months ago

    hallo from sweden

  • The Unveiler 7 months ago

    Cheddar Bob robbed a McDonald’s?

  • azae00 Vids 7 months ago

    why is it so hard for us humans to share this planet and help one another … we make things so complicated -_-;

  • joakim stark 7 months ago

    Neil deGrasse Tyson for President!

  • Richard El Davidson 7 months ago

    Anyone find Seth Meyers never really funny but is just here 4 news

  • Napoleon I Bonaparte 7 months ago

    I’ll do whatever the seal does if the Democrats have a success


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