Vegetarians are doing a victory lap after it was announced that hot dogs contain human DNA and all processed meats cause cancer, but Stephen has some bad news for them, too.
Look, I get it. A lot of vegetarians are smug assholes who I’d like to murder as much as the next guy. But I don’t think there is anything wrong with questioning the morality of battery cages and gestation crates.
We vegans and vegetarians should just declare war on meat eaters and get this over with.
Now I’m hungry and I don’t have any bacon in the house.
This cracked me up SO HARD! XD GG, Stephen, GG.
And to everyone throwing a fit in the comments, he wasn’t making fun of ALL vegans/vegetarians, he was making fun of the dipshits who point out how much better they are then you because they don’t eat meat, like their shit suddenly doesn’t stink. Meat eaters generally don’t give a shit what other people eat. It’s the smug, holier-then-thou attitude that gets thrown our way that makes us want to eat a bacon cheeseburger with double meat and three times the bacon while making you watch us just to spite you.
Also, a lot of us DO know where our food comes from. I grew up in farm country. I made friends with goats and cows and horses and piggles. I and many people like me care about how our food is treated before it lands on our plate. When I can, I get humanely-raised meat and eggs and I know a lot of other people do, too.
Im vegan and i found this funny but ive been telling everyone even my dumb vegan friends that they should eat raw and not that shitty processed food. I have all the science behind me.
why are people keep saying meat is bad… when it’s actually the preservatives…
Stephen is brutal to everyone, damn.
As a vegetarian, I’m just honored that Stephen mentioned us.
“When you see your fellow human being suffering it’s funny, but heaven forbid I eat a shrimp”
I liked that line a lot. It feels like sometimes vegans forget that people matter as well as animals.
However, I hate that having empathy for animals seems like just a big joke to everyone. The smug vegan stereotype is pretty universally accepted by everyone who isn’t one, but if you even jusgt happen to mention that you don’t eat meat people get defensive as fuck and just jump down your throat and assume you’re smug. I wonder if it’s because they feel a little guilt deep down.
Yet again, people rely more on the sensationalist news and less on the actual research and science that they butcher nearly every time. Nobody looks into things before accepting them.
Society fails at science. Can’t even google things. No wonder people drink fucking wheat grass.
I’m a vegan.
Stephen is on fire!
Im so happy rn, i could punch a vegetarian
lol he burnt the shit out of his thumb
he’s the man
0:40 He still says repore instead of report? Why?
I’m with Stephen. Hell no am I going to stop eating red meat or processed meats!
…I’m also allergic to legumes and poultry (and seafood half the time, plus a lot of other things) so most of my other protein options aren’t even options for me. Oh well…guess I’ll just have to eat all the bacon for you guys. ¯*(ツ)*/¯
This dude smoked bacon.
score one for vegetarians
Vegetarians are like those trolls from trolls 2
Well this is some Upton Sinclair stuff.
Did he try to say Schaudenfreude? He did good
Fuck vegetarians. Thanks alot for eating all of those plants that produce oxygen so that all the things on the earth can survive. Just because they can’t move or show any emotion, plants are alive too. Get off your moral high horse, you planet murderers.
colbert is the best. now give me my bacon
Whos going to try smokin bacon? lol BAcon JOe
Colbert is a Savage!
Whe he started smoking I was in tears :D
That ending though. Thank You Steven!!! (Stomp Stomp Stompstompstomp)
Pffffth…. Everything can cause cancer.
#smugvegetarian burns. thanks Stephen!
Tofu dogs are people!
I’m eating a pizza with bacon and sausage. I feel good in my tummy
Actually, putting it in the same category as cigarettes and asbestos just means that the WHO is *as certain* that it has a chance of causing cancer as the other two. Cigarettes increase your chances of getting lung cancer by 2500%. Bacon, on the other hand, only increases your chance of colon cancer by 18%. Eighteen! That increases your lifetime chance of getting colorectal cancer from 5% to 6%.
I haven’t seen Stephen this excited since. . .well. . .don’t touch a man’s bacon, I guess.
Sunlight can cause skin cancer so lets stop going outside.
All jokes aside this was a brilliant segment!
WHO is the same geniuses who are trying to treat vaping like it’s just the same as smoking, ticking off those smokers who have successfully escaped tobacco.Now, attacking bacon, they will tick off everybody but anemic vegans.Open up your eyes, folks. This is about controlling us, NOT our health. Stand together and reject the nannies.
Sick fucks. Talk about cognitive dissonance. Smoking dead fresh of a once living being would be considered the act of a serial killer if it were your own species but is comedy here
Report is vague though, they say it COULD cause cancer and they say everything CAN cause cancer these days. I want to know what GIVES me cancer not what CAN.
I wish I could like/thumbs up this twice.
Somewhere in a Colorado weed shop, there’s now a strain called “Bacon Kush”
We’re all going to die eventually, so might as well die deliciously.
Is it me or does everyone forget that most cancer causing substances are also vegan. Cigs, Edsbestos, Refined Sugar… this is the first time for meat to be even mentioned and the fact that meat MAY cause cancer is just a sad excuse for already cancerous vegans to get uppity because they have the money from not eating meat to pay for their cancer treatments… This last part is a joke and I’m not trying to be mean to cancer patients… by calling them vegan.
People been eating hot dogs, sausage and bacon for hundreds of years. Cancer free for most of them.
I would like this a thousand times if I could.
That was awesome
aaaaaaahgahahahah.. hahahahahaa. aahahahahahahaha
>> I would be more concerned about where the DNA came from
Does not matter,bacon is awesome!!
suck it veggies
It’s funny how how people suffering (from not eating meat) is equated to animals dying lol
People are so fanatical about eating meat it’s pretty crazy.
I’m starting to think Colbert is getting some extra money from the meat industry that pays for his commercials. Colbert is funny but he’s a a sold out ignorant fool! I hope he gets cancer just so he opens his eyes and changes his viewpoint on meat. He’s influencing a lot of people to be ignorant a holes
Stephen laughing at the his own script is hilarious
holy shit that was the sickest bid yet
Except most vegetarians don’t even eat fake meat…usually health conscious LA people do.
cancer is largely caused by genetics and obesity. but they won’t talk about this because it’s politically incorrect. fact is majority of people never get cancer. but policy these days always dictated to cater to the loudest minority.
one of them workers there probably just spat in the big bowl as the snouts and anuses, or “ani,” I should say, was bein’ grounded up. quite disgusting if you think about it, then again, if you enjoy chowin down on pig snouts and asses a little homo sapien saliva shouldnt be too big a deal there
Everybody should stop breathing, because the things in our air are linked to cancer.
He looked awfully comfortable with that pipe
Did they decide this in between this year’s annual flip-flop on how bad eggs are for us?
I hope people know that WHO did not at all say meat caused cancer…they said the opposite. read the actual report its two pages
brb buying vegetarian hot dogs.
That was amazing
Stephen just created a new way to eat bacon.
run for your lives people angry vegans are coming!!!!!!
Stephen! Stephen! Stephen! Stephen! Stephen! Stephen!
Eating meat makes bigger brains.
Boy he really skewered those vegetarians!
Colbert is on the wrong side of history in this one…
Does it look like I know what a JPEG is….
There goes Epic Meal Time
what movie was he referencing in the end? i can’t remember the name…
Hot Dougs was such a dad joke
This guy just smoked bacon. What a great video.
He’s descending back into character…or ascending, maybe
Hey vegetarians, didnt you learned from science class that plants are living organisms too? SAVE THE PLANTS EAT MEAT
I don’t even need to scroll down into the comments to know that there’s gonna be a lot of butthurt and a lot of trolling, just have to go make some popcorn real quick
One of my favourite Colbert segments ever…
Dude, this was fucking funny.
ohhhhh man the vegetarian hate in this video is strong……. lol
Obamas islamification satanism continues after bacon. Buying more bacon just cuz of this Stalinist bullshit propaganda.
Meat is flavor and life.
Yup, Fox59 news….haha
i think it’s sad that science says meat causes cancer and then everyone who eats meat talks shit to vegetarians. does this mean that the vegetarians are right and everyone else is wrong? if you are wrong you are wrong, don’t double down on it and show everyone how stupid you are by telling everyone that you don’t care and will still eat it until you die of cancer all early, my brother died of cancer at 24 and he ate whatever he wanted and i did my research on cancer and it makes me afraid to eat meat, cause its fucking bad for you!!!!!!!!!
amazing! thank you stephen
Why can’t these myopic minded herbivores accept the ABSOLUTE FACT that HUMANS are OMNIVORES by evolution! MODERATION is the ABSOLUTE key for a healthy living. WAKE UP! (Grabs BACONATOR)
If you’re from Chicago, you know about Hot Doug’s.
not just processed meat but red meat, too
stephen colbert is a fucking genius
Joke’s on you; vegetarians don’t eat vegetarian hot dogs. Fat meat eaters trying to be less fat eat vegetarian hot dogs. Stay mad you uncivilized barbaric carnivores
He easts so much on his show.
I just realized i witnessed a late night talk show host smoke bacon through a pipe… what a fucking champ
The only good enough reason to stop eating meat is global warming. That’s the leading cause and we need to reduce our consumption, that’s all. But well, most people don’t care about the planet anyway and there are some idiots who even doubt global warming. I’ll be childless happily watching the childs of these bacon lovers drown :)
I would just like to point out that cured meats and poultry are a HAZARD not a RISK meaning that it is not the same likelihood as smoking or asbestos. What it means is that EXCESS consumption of it (I’m talking meat as like 90% of your diet here) is correlated with an increase in cancer. While smoking is a CAUSATION of an increase in cancer and therefor a RISK. Swimming in the ocean is a HAZARD because there could be sharks around. Swimming in a shark tank is a RISK.
I don’t eat vegetarian hot dogs. #smugvegetarian
Soylent Green for real.
If you eat meat your being hu$tled. also if you drink milk after being an infant..
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