Thanks Lizzo! Now Stephen Can Finally Tell His Chris Evans’ Penis Jokes

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Published on April 20, 2021

As promised, Stephen Colbert has stayed on top of the news surrounding “Captain America” actor Chris Evans and his penis, including the latest development involving a drunken DM from our dear friend Lizzo. #Colbert #ChrisEvans #Lizzo

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111 comments

  • N3uroStat 2 years ago

    I know it’s the same every video but jon just makes me so happy. love this guy

    Reply
  • Gergő Surányi 2 years ago

    Sacksiness? Live ‘n’ learn I guess! Thank you Mr. Colbert! -Unnamed youtube commenter 2021 colorized

    Reply
  • Kate 2 years ago

    Stephen had way too much fun with that!

    Reply
  • Motionless Puppet 2 years ago

    If a famous actress accidentally shared nudes, i doubt Stephen would make boob/vagina jokes or even mention it to his audience

    Reply
  • Napoléon I Bonaparte 2 years ago

    I’m sure Bucky could give Chris a hand of his Super Soldier…

    Reply
  • papankunci 2 years ago

    the old man version of captain america sounds and look alot like Joe Biden…

    Reply
  • MattSipka 2 years ago

    Stephen made us a promise and he kept it.

    Reply
  • M Long 2 years ago

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha, and so on

    Reply
  • Aaron Dunlap 2 years ago

    I’m surprised Lizzo didn’t respond to Chris Evan’s message “I got a bottle of tequila that I’m saving for you” with a 😉 emoji

    Reply
  • Nutteri 2 years ago

    With this long a wait, I was expecting the sack of jokes to be at least a bit blue!

    Reply
  • The Nd 2 years ago

    Wonder if youtube demonitizes from that title lol

    Reply
  • Bob Job 2 years ago

    I ve been waiting for these jokes for so long!!!!

    Reply
  • Karen Willough 2 years ago

    “Shaking hands with the super soldier.”😂😂😂
    Using that from now on.

    Reply
  • Mr Green 2 years ago

    So Steven, are you going back on T.V.?

    Reply
  • Talkindurinthemovie 2 years ago

    I don’t even remember that Chris Evans thing. I was scared to death

    Reply
  • DaellusKnights 2 years ago

    I hope we get to see a follow up interview with Evans responding to all this 🤣

    Reply
  • nathan brehm 2 years ago

    He just grabbed Evans sack and threw it on his desk on TV. Working for those ratings. Lol

    Reply
  • Autum Breeze 2 years ago

    For those who somehow don’t understand Exactly why the Fantastic Foreskin joke is so hilarious, Chris Evans was the Human Torch in the live action Fantastic Four movies in the early 2000s

    Reply
  • Mike Harrison 2 years ago

    Yes, I do have a sense of humour, and don’t mind scataligical jokes at all… but I didn’t find those jokes very funny.

    Reply
  • Susan Robinson 2 years ago

    I never realized how much Old Cap reminds me of Joe Biden…

    Reply
  • Kyle Booth 2 years ago

    Chris Evans isn’t Disney anymore. Dick pic was on purpose. No bad advertising.

    Reply
  • A N D Y 2 years ago

    This dube made me wait almost 6 mouths for DAD JOKE!?

    Reply
  • Moramoth Hauntz 2 years ago

    Lucky Cap

    Reply
  • Jonathan Carr 2 years ago

    Stephen: “And finally.” Me: “Thank God”

    Reply
  • Burnin In Texas 2 years ago

    Stop talking to John…please

    Reply
  • Dr. Braxy Gilkey Cruises 2 years ago

    I admit my first thought was, *”Wow, Lizzo and Chris would make a cute couple.”* 💑 #TeamChrizzo

    Reply
  • Robert DiVito 2 years ago

    I have been waiting for this segment since November. Thank you.

    Reply
  • UserInterface00 2 years ago

    Captain America 🍆👀 “No, I don’t think I will” when Stephen said that joke 😂😂

    Reply
  • Heather Lowry 2 years ago

    America’s ass

    Reply
  • onequartercanadian 2 years ago

    😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹

    Reply
  • Rondalyn Reynolds 2 years ago

    Jon Baptiste playing the piano makes the world a much brighter during these dark times.♥️

    Reply
  • Neza foju 2 years ago

    So excited I got the Knives Out joke lol

    Reply
  • Robert Dullnig 2 years ago

    I understood that reference.

    Reply
  • Rawbeard 2 years ago

    how do you “slide” into someone’s DMs? isn’t it just “messaging”?

    Reply
  • Toker420ish 2 years ago

    Nobody’s going to talk about the fact that old cap looks exactly like Joe Biden? Nobody?? Lol

    Reply
  • Just Jeanne 2 years ago

    John Batiste … I feel so good just hearing him talk … then when he plays piano ? Oh lord, that man is pure magic !!! ♥♥♥

    Reply
  • Oleduddydawg 5 2 years ago

    Somebody better come get Lizzo I think she got lost in Chris Evans’ DMs. I think she wants to be way more than friends.

    Reply
  • Gess Healey 2 years ago

    Well, off I go to google ‘Chris Evans’ (shrug)

    Reply
  • S1L3NT G4M3R 2 years ago

    THANKS 🙂 .

    Reply
  • SailorMoon 2 years ago

    hey now…old people need love too man. Capt is going to see his honey…

    Reply
  • FWleader 2 years ago

    Would have been a great opportunity to introduce “Our Guest tonight, Chris Evans!”

    Reply
  • ShredderTainment 2 years ago

    Jon B in for best dressed!!!!💋💪

    Reply
  • Adam Smith 2 years ago

    I will never not call emojis “young people hieroglyphics” from now on

    Reply
  • David C Witkin 2 years ago

    Too bad Chris Evans put out Lizzo’s fire with his “fire hose”…

    Reply
  • Lauren Eras 2 years ago

    I ship Lizzo and Chris Evans now!!!!

    Reply
  • JanusAtTheGate 2 years ago

    What about being on camera turns men on?

    Reply
  • Wendy Muller 2 years ago

    I’m incredibly pale and I have no apologies.

    Reply
  • Jedii Kniight 2 years ago

    Lizzo needs to calm her big refrigerator ass down

    Reply
  • CaleanWsh 2 years ago

    Oh boy……

    Reply
  • Tweetyresm 2 years ago

    After seeing the flashback to Sept., I’m loving how much longer Stephen’s hair has gotten! The gray looks good and it looks luxurious! Move over George Clooney!

    Reply
  • Here I go Again 2 years ago

    John Baptist is boring. Using him takes your show down

    Reply
  • Iron Fan 2 years ago

    I like what wants to come out of Jon’s fingers in LA. I like it!

    Reply
  • Yup Yee 2 years ago

    John is a legend. It’s not even about those stupid Awards. Seeing him play with dizzy galepsy gave him a place in my heart

    Reply
  • zizinnnn 2 years ago

    wait, so sir hopkins followed dick jokes? rude.

    Reply
  • Marian Topham 2 years ago

    This was amazing! 😄

    Reply
  • Becky Ford Sullivan 2 years ago

    Stephen so proud of these dad jokes

    Reply
  • Healing Asthma A Case Study 2 years ago

    No comment from Chris Evans?

    Reply
  • Lord Haberdasher 2 years ago

    Old Chris Evans looks like if Joe Biden had the cool gene

    Reply
  • Valentin Vazquez 2 years ago

    I need lizzo cover in cannabis oil please 😘

    Reply
  • Fauler Perfektionist 2 years ago

    Somewhere, Chris Evans just saw this and sighed.

    Reply
  • Rob K 2 years ago

    Lizzo gotta slide into Jamal’s DM’s!

    Reply
  • Douglas Krueger 2 years ago

    Well, penis jokes do, of course, get me into 20th century poetry:
    Whose hand held the line? …
    Whose eye caught what was going on?
    Who was the fish & how did he like it?
    – Jackson Mac Low, 1841 (I) (24 May 1963)

    Reply
  • Brian Weaver 2 years ago

    That’s AMERICA’S penis.

    Reply
  • Joaco Garcia 2 years ago

    I Want to see Chris Evans reaction to this jokes!! Also on the last joke “are you gonna stop doing that?! I would have put Captain America saying “I can do this all day”.

    Reply
  • Anonymous because I feel like it. 2 years ago

    What the hell is that text??!!
    I’m not old, and I had no idea, at all, what that could possibly mean. 😂
    I’m feeling very uncool at the moment.

    Reply
  • jaxkills4cash 2 years ago

    Chris Evans Does a good joe Biden

    Reply
  • Mitchell Anderson 2 years ago

    …Auntie? Is that you? *Looks at her drunk-testing right after home from work* She’s not allowed Sake anymore…

    Reply
  • fairytale143 2 years ago

    The piano is just an extension of John Batiste’s body

    Reply
  • jalabi99 2 years ago

    NGL I’m starting to ‘ship Chris and Lizzo now…better make it happen, Captain! 💑 #TeamChrizzo

    Reply
  • Andrew S 2 years ago

    THAT is America’s penis.

    Reply
  • Ti9erLilly 2 years ago

    This gave me the urge to look up the image, not because I actually want to see his member, but because I’m curious if it is as big as everyone is saying. This is so horribly hilarious. 😂

    Reply
  • Deeannash 2 years ago

    Jon Baptiste is sooooo talented.

    Reply
  • daniel morris 2 years ago

    That’s a wind emoji? I’ve been using it wrong for ages…I thought it was exhaling pot smoke emoji. Seriously. 💨💨💨😎

    Reply
  • Lori Yost 2 years ago

    “Look on the bright side- you didn’t kill and half million people with your vote.” That is what I say to anyone who apologizes now.

    Reply
  • Voluptuous & Vivacious 2 years ago

    I Love Lizzo💋

    Reply
  • el Channel 2 years ago

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    Reply
  • Gábor Králik 2 years ago

    Seems like Captain America has one too many superpowers.

    Reply
  • Something Seems Off 2 years ago

    *-Video actually starts at **1:33*

    Reply
  • BrotherExperimentus 2 years ago

    First of all, Mr. Colbert, you do not address him as “‘eh! Tony!”, you address him as “”eh! Sir Tony!” Remember, he… uh… did something and it was really difficult that got him that title. Okay in all seriousness, Sir Anthony Hopkins is one of my wife’s and my favourite actors of all time. Very few are as talented and versatile as he is.
    As for your jokes about Chris Evans, your jokes had me in stitches at first, but, as I have resisted looking at Mr. Evan’s Instagram faux pas I can only go by your jibes that it was as “big” a deal as it was made out to be. This has made me sad since I had a goal to become physically like Captain America, and you have crushed that dream now with the knowledge that we were not privy to one of his biggest muscles on screen. I suppose he had one more place to hang that shield that we were not previously aware of which explains the poster of him looking down at the shield held in front of his, er, large container of super serum?
    Thank-you once more for an informative, fun and entertaining show.

    Reply
  • Valerie Pittman 2 years ago

    When he called farts Air Jordans… 💀💀😩🤣😂

    Reply
  • Tamikobaby Tamiko 2 years ago

    😂😂😂😂😂

    Reply
  • Antoinette Marlow 2 years ago

    Hilarious! Stephen describes himself as being sso white, his skin lookss like uncooked calimari – my husband’s line (he’s Irish/Norwegian) is that he’s not exactly white. He’s more like ‘powder blue’. 😱

    Reply
  • THOR KILL 2 years ago

    Raise your co7nnceoiss

    Reply
  • Lynnette Delgado 2 years ago

    New York baby…

    Reply
  • nancykerrigan 2 years ago

    Ummmm, shouldn’t you be thanking Biden?

    Reply
  • Wendy Flores 2 years ago

    😂😂😂😂😂

    Reply
  • Daniel DiBono 2 years ago

    What was the intro song Jon & and The Band was covering? Right at the beginning of the video?

    Reply
  • Colleen Cook 2 years ago

    Welcome to Cali! Enjoy the local food, art & folks! WE LOVE YOU JOHN BAPTIST!!!

    Reply
  • Christopher Robin Garrish 2 years ago

    Conga player doessn’t have to tape her fingers for me.

    Reply
  • Carla M 2 years ago

    He must like wearing blue shirts

    Reply
  • Steven Kasten 2 years ago

    This is the quality news I signed up for when I subscribed to this channel. Thank you Stephen

    Reply
  • Sensitive Petal Flower 2 years ago

    God help me I laughed at every single penis joke

    Reply
  • Bob Jones 2 years ago

    John’s positive and upbeat demeanor is always heartwarming… wish there were more John Baptiste’s in this world🙂

    Reply
  • dreaminginnoother 2 years ago

    I like Lizzo’s music, but I hate that she promotes fatness. It is not healthy and we should not pretend it is. It is disgusting and people need to take better care of their health.

    Reply
  • Stay_ Awesome 2 years ago

    As a huge Chris Evans fan, I hate to admit that I disrespectfully looked at his dick pic and I must say that Chris Evans is GIFTED from head to toe. God took his time creating that Adonis of a man, that’s for sure.

    Reply
  • Alfred Lee 2 years ago

    Shout out to Jean Baptiste for that little sample of “On Broadway” by the indomitable George Benson 🤟

    Reply
  • Ian Jay 2 years ago

    4:56 I swear I fucking threw up….I say goddamn

    Reply
  • Dr. Mantis Toboggan 2 years ago

    1:17 – This is how I want to wake up every morning.

    Reply
  • R Willems 2 years ago

    Chris saved 2020 from being the worst year ever. Sure there’s a pandemic but not a terrible year overall lol.

    Reply
  • Gina K 2 years ago

    What is that opening music? I love Jean Baptiste’s suit here, it’s really lovely and unique.

    Reply
  • Summer Gould 2 years ago

    I’m really hoping Stephen intentionally dressed like the facepalm emoji… 2:45

    Reply
  • Oracle Of Delphi 2 years ago

    If the old Captain America was standing shoulder to shoulder with Clint Eastwood and Joe Biden, I’m not sure if I could really tell them apart.

    Reply
  • Determined DIYer 2 years ago

    I swear the comments section of videos like this is my favorite thing in the world.

    Reply
  • Matthew Wensink 2 years ago

    The way the hall is lit that Jon Batiste is in makes him look like he was badly rotoscoped and placed onto a stock background

    Reply
  • nelaknight 2 years ago

    I’m dying…😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    Reply
  • Sediq Bezhan 2 years ago

    Let’s face it. If roles were reversed, he would be taken to hell a and back

    Reply
  • nelaknight 2 years ago

    Uummm…can you please have Chris Evans on so we can see,I mean,know what all the big hullabaloo is about?

    Reply
  • Mintoria Adams 2 years ago

    John got mad TALENT ON THE KEYS. And Stephen you are my favorite night host

    Reply
  • David Beddard 2 years ago

    Just noticed the strong resemblance between Old Cap and Joe Biden! Uncanny!

    Reply
  • BC BC 2 years ago

    🤢🤢🤢🤢

    Reply
  • Jeff Hinman 2 years ago

    It’s a team handball emoji.

    Reply

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