Stephen’s ‘Winter Storm Jonas’ Tips

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Published on January 23, 2016

As Jonas bears down on the northeast, Stephen offers some helpful tips on how to make the most of your last few hours alive.

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99 comments

  • C Flo 4 years ago

    Craig Ferguson used to always do the caretaker bit. Glad to see Steven
    using it now.

    Reply
  • Ben Willms 4 years ago

    Ayyy ir’s John Ba[tostne

    Reply
  • Laughing Octopus 4 years ago

    there’s a disconnect between Stephen and his band that just feels
    uncomfortable on screen, like when you can hear them laughing by force or
    without enthusiasm or just awkward face shots of his band, I guess they’re
    not used to it yet or need more years of chemistry.

    Reply
  • Sabrina Middaugh 4 years ago

    omg I cant believe he said to use a family member like luke skywalker and
    his tauntaun. nearly spit out my coffee.

    Reply
  • nancy howes 4 years ago

    lol

    Reply
  • c0unterph0bia 4 years ago

    lol, this is hilarious unless you know any of the people who died

    Reply
  • Genta 4 years ago

    don’t forget the bread and milk

    Reply
  • Caleb Anderson 4 years ago

    Fun fact birthrates tend to go up after snow storms 😉 Have fun you east
    coasters!

    Reply
  • TK Pyrotechnics 4 years ago

    I’m in lower Pennsylvania and we already have 21 inches, expected to get up
    to 3 feet!

    Reply
  • Bradford Brewster (Brewman) 4 years ago

    So glad Im in Florida.

    Reply
  • Mic Nor 4 years ago

    About time someone made a “The Shining” (1980) reference!

    Reply
  • MCwelfare 4 years ago

    Somebody tell the band to shut the fuck up

    Reply
  • Paige Ford 4 years ago

    Kentucky is under 15″ right now.

    Reply
  • Maureen McLean 4 years ago

    Do night workers stay in town when storms like this come?. I would think
    you could find a sofa to camp out on. Stay safe.

    Reply
  • Lan.J 4 years ago

    Jon Bapcreep does it again

    Reply
  • Abdulaziz Alfahaid 4 years ago

    the white walkers attack was totally unexpectable comment lol

    Reply
  • Boba Vhett 4 years ago

    I only watched this for a star wars reference with tauntauns I was not
    disappointed.

    Reply
  • Matthew99 4 years ago

    Where I live, we’re currently getting 4 feet of snow! ??

    Reply
  • AlyKat 4 years ago

    You’re the caretaker.
    You’ve *always* been the caretaker.

    Reply
  • kaliyuga2758 4 years ago

    Love the references to The Shining. We’ve always been the caretakers?
    Clever.

    Reply
  • Yo Mamma 4 years ago

    Please don’t normalize the Weather Channel’s bogus attempt hype storms by
    giving them names. Thanks.

    Reply
  • HelloWorld 4 years ago

    All you have to do is #feelthebern.

    Reply
  • Nathan Albrecht 4 years ago

    Redrum?

    Reply
  • Aj Hampton 4 years ago

    Uh oh, Jon Baptiste was on camera for over three seconds better prepare for
    a million angry comments who can’t handle his chuckle being slightly louder
    than the audience.

    Reply
  • andrew kim 4 years ago

    late shows take note, no sidekick, use the band leader as your side kick,
    like david letterman

    Reply
  • Jo Reven 4 years ago

    I AM a hotel caretaker right now! All the way to midnight at least, too!
    O_O;;;;;

    Reply
  • Nacirema 4 years ago

    I wish I had someone to snuggle up with.

    Reply
  • syyenergy7 4 years ago

    lame,

    Reply
  • Dave Pearcy 4 years ago

    nice going stephen.

    Reply
  • Breakfast221 4 years ago

    Lol, meanwhile, in Los Angeles, it’s cloudless and 63 degrees Fahrenheit.

    Reply
  • ThatChristianVlogger 4 years ago

    Check out my latest video for an inside scoop of Winter Storm Jonas in
    Philadelphia!

    Reply
  • BallsDeep69 4 years ago

    I don’t think this is going to be a problem unless it takes a left, moves
    to Japan, and then hangs there for several years. Still, the only worrisome
    part for me is power failure. If the power goes out, I’m dead.

    Reply
  • Heroic Love 4 years ago

    It snows, they plow it, it melts, the end. We Californian’s care not.

    Reply
  • Lucas Pimenta 4 years ago

    Game of Thrones, Star Wars and The Shining references in the same bit.
    Jesus, Stephen, calm down.

    Reply
  • ron burgendy 4 years ago

    i hoped he’d follow up with “you’ve always been the care taker” and of
    course he did. bless you, stephen!

    Reply
  • andrewk macdonald 4 years ago

    ya…. I can comment finally. be smarter. because I can comment again. this
    shit isn’t funny to me.

    Reply
  • Logi Bro 4 years ago

    I love how they always act like stores won’t be open like the next day

    Reply
  • adj789 4 years ago

    The Caretaker – It’s all Forgotten Now

    Reply
  • Sharon Watson 4 years ago

    I AM the caretaker. I’ve ALWAYS been the caretaker…..SOCIOECONOMIC
    EMPOWERMENT TO THE PEOPLE! 10,000 citizens INVEST on our PUBLIC market
    date. We purchase land, build a go-cart & adventure park. We split the
    profits EQUALLY, do business HONESTLY, and INCLUSIVE. We do this to
    decrease crime,… improve health, strengthen community bonds, and
    contribute to the economic landscape in America. We do this TO FORM A MORE
    PERFECT UNION. http://www.scribd.com/sharon_watson_6 . PLEASE SHARE. Copyright
    2009….PLEASE GIVE THE BOOK A SCAN. greenlight me for a screenplay,
    PLEEEEEEEEZEEEEE

    Reply
  • DerpyStory 4 years ago

    I’ve been prepared by stocking up on Colbert’s Ben and jerrys flavor “The
    American Dream”

    Reply
  • Sassafraster 4 years ago

    2 feet is a lot if your area doesn’t typically get that much. Stay warm and
    safe.

    Reply
  • Michael Housser 4 years ago

    no TV and no beer make Homer go something something…

    Reply
  • Tucker Muse 4 years ago

    Hurricanes are so in this year!

    Pump iron. Plow butthole!

    Reply
  • Emma Kay 4 years ago

    and than there’s the few of us in North Dakota. that storm won’t hit us,
    but we’ve got plenty of snow, wind, and cold

    Reply
  • PhantomLegion100 4 years ago

    do you know what doesn’t make a dud joke better? HJA HJA HJA from the band
    offscreen, at a low audio level, but still loud enough to hear

    Reply
  • Lori Armstrong 4 years ago

    Thank you for helping us ~ I see we can still count on you to mock the
    important issues ~ dramatic weather ~
    Lots of BIG MONEY in cleaning up the storms from #GeoEngineering

    Reply
  • cagedtigersteve 4 years ago

    redrum

    Reply
  • cagedtigersteve 4 years ago

    Should I watch Empire Strikes Back or The Shining.

    Reply
  • Grimm Ace 4 years ago

    Ah yes, the sock and two cats. I’m already ahead of the game then! Warm and
    palm trees here though, I feel like I’m missing out on natural furies.

    Reply
  • EvenMyCatHatesMe 4 years ago

    the black guy is really annoying

    Reply
  • Golden Zdude 4 years ago

    yeah. global warming. mhm.

    Reply
  • Liquid.Song 4 years ago

    THE SHINING REFERENCE KILLED ME OMG YASS QUEEN

    Reply
  • Dtown O 4 years ago

    SO fucking funny huh? did you know 14 people have already DIED because of
    the storm.

    Reply
  • FUTjunkie FANGIRL 4 years ago

    Loved the Shining reference at the end! XD. HEEEERES JOHNNY! All work and
    no play makes Stephen Colbert a lonely boy.

    Reply
  • Steve Holmgren 4 years ago

    Vanilla Extract is actually a VERY good drink. It tastes delicious on ice
    with a little milk, about the same abv as vodka, makes your breath smell
    lovely and it’s pretty cheap! :)

    Reply
  • Radushi Z 4 years ago

    anyone in the mood for red rum?

    Reply
  • phantastic91 4 years ago

    Jon making random noises again….

    Reply
  • Jessica X 4 years ago

    Clever reference to the Revenant

    Reply
  • enginesnblades 4 years ago

    Have a plan for your family? If you mean who dies first if it comes down to
    cannibalism I figured that out years ago.

    Reply
  • oneleggoalie 4 years ago

    Now we know…he’s too good for The Late Show…audience…but in a few
    months…a new and better model will fill the arena…and all will be
    well…Respect…oh BTW…Rooster should just let The Man work…k?

    Reply
  • BetterThanReal 4 years ago

    !!!nobody touch the thumbs up button!!! it’s at 1,234 – OCD retracting,
    retracting….gone…awwwww

    Reply
  • GhettoMist 4 years ago

    26 INCHES WE CANT OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR

    Reply
  • Sok Eng 4 years ago

    p

    Reply
  • Paul “Turtles” G. 4 years ago

    I went camping last night, it was the coldest night on record in Hong Kong

    Reply
  • Paintamaster2000 4 years ago

    Why didn’t I subscribe to you earlier?

    Reply
  • Paul Ramos 4 years ago

    Nice, The Shining reference! GENIUS!!!

    Reply
  • weedbgone 4 years ago

    People freaking out over a foot of snow

    Reply
  • Liquicitizen Kevin 4 years ago

    These storms sure do bring their surprises. If you would have told most
    meteorologists on Thursday that NYC would get it’s 2nd biggest snowfall on
    record only missing #1 by 0.1 inches they’d have laughed in your face.

    Reply
  • God 4 years ago

    Yeeeeaaaaah, I accidentally left the freezer door open…my bad.

    Reply
  • kit kat 4 years ago

    What happened to Minnesota we ain’t got no snow here this year so far

    Reply
  • BasedShaman 4 years ago

    Oh my Cawd

    Reply
  • xCody978x 4 years ago

    Campbell Soup predicted this storm… go watch their commercial that was
    aired a few weeks ago

    Reply
  • Hollyweed 4 years ago

    0:47 the cringiest fake laugh of all fake laughs. That laugh even surpasses
    Fallons fake laugh. That guy batiste is just a waste of late night
    programming. He should work in a bar.

    Reply
  • Hollyweed 4 years ago

    Its called Winter. Get used to it.

    Reply
  • agostinonet 4 years ago

    To the east coast, yes, this is a “massive” snow storm.

    Reply
  • Maribel Prudencio 4 years ago

    STELLLAAAA

    Reply
  • Tyler M 4 years ago

    He was better on the Cobert Report

    Reply
  • Ronald Yoder Sr. Entertainment 4 years ago

    At the end is he talking about The Singing which star Jack Nickelsons and
    Robert Duvall? It is one of my favorite scary film but I cannot watch it if
    my son is awake! He is like the little boy in the film and he always know
    when I watch it and begin shouting! Thank you Stevens I want to watch it
    now when he go to bed!

    Reply
  • Chris Martino 4 years ago

    ” I am sorry to differ with you sir… “

    Reply
  • Popular on YouTube - Worldwide 4 years ago

    *Stephen’s ‘Winter Storm Jonas’ Tips*

    Reply
  • Erik Perez 4 years ago

    the worst epesode yet

    Reply
  • Erik Perez 4 years ago

    I think stephen colbert is galling off

    Reply
  • Erik Perez 4 years ago

    of think the media is getting to him.

    Reply
  • Cairol Salleh 4 years ago

    this tips look not cool.
    maybe it work if you face that situation.
    #htgroef16

    Reply
  • Zebra Jammies 4 years ago

    GG ez I wrote this.. #zebranation

    Reply
  • Janice Columbus 4 years ago

    You’ve always been the caretaker…its a Shining joke folks! LOL!

    Reply
  • Mohmadreza Badan 4 years ago

    چرابازنمیشه

    Reply
  • r0bw00d 4 years ago

    OH MY FUCKING GOD, BAND MEMBER! SHUT UP! YOU’RE RUINING HIS DELIVERY!

    Reply
  • Cooking Lessons for Dad 4 years ago

    If the store shelves are empty, make snow ice cream with that vanilla
    extract!

    Reply
  • Conner Broeker 4 years ago

    Winter Storm Jonas might almost be as bad the Jonas brothers

    Reply
  • turboboy1983 4 years ago

    Bye, Steven.

    Reply
  • Placebo_Jones 4 years ago

    00:53 “there it is, there it is”

    Reply
  • HateGovernment 4 years ago

    A reprieve from all the annoying protesters.

    Reply
  • Kevin Pranoto 4 years ago

    Is it just me or he looks a bit like RDJ?

    Reply
  • Chris Shoemaker 4 years ago

    This was not funny at all. Why did YouTube recommend this to me?

    Reply
  • Amaury Robin 4 years ago

    Out Of Smght! How do you do? bad collect !

    Reply
  • Garner Day 4 years ago

    haha I love john, he seems like a genuine nice guy who’s polite and only
    says something when he has something to say.

    Reply
  • Garner Day 4 years ago

    haha I love john, he seems like a genuine nice guy who’s polite and only
    says something when he has something to say.

    Reply
  • Max B 4 years ago

    Also, make sure to watch the boiler pressure.

    Reply

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