Stephen Colbert’s Pander Express

14381
Published on October 7, 2015

All the big action movies know that to really make your bank, you have to get your film into the Chinese market. So Stephen’s taking a page from their playbook.

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70 comments

  • Monster 3 years ago

    First.

    Reply
  • ChuckNorris 3 years ago

    1st

    Reply
  • Sukalp Mishra 3 years ago

    under 100 wow…

    Reply
  • kravenor 3 years ago

    FOURTH!!!

    Reply
  • Wong Ben YB 3 years ago

    It’s been a long time I see some one who speak fluent unpretentious
    Mandarin in US TV…….

    Reply
  • Kazi Reza 3 years ago

    not one joke about the chinese being good at maths

    Reply
  • AYap 3 years ago

    ha ha Chyna

    Reply
  • Kirisute Gomen 3 years ago

    It’s funny because China can never see this. lol.

    Reply
  • Tafami 3 years ago

    See kids, always chew your food at least 25 times otherwise you get the
    heimlich maneuver from Dr Astronaut.

    Reply
  • Nate Bailey 3 years ago

    If he’s trying to pander to the Chinese, I’m just glad he didn’t reference
    anything from South Park.

    Reply
  • Yue Wu 3 years ago

    So you can’t find a Chinese guy who can speak a fluent mandarin for this? I
    mean he clearly can speak mandarin, but it sounds like he hasn’t spoken for
    decades, I’ve seen Americans speak better than him in US.

    Reply
  • Robert Wang 3 years ago

    Instantly banned in China for making that Tiananmen Square joke XD

    Reply
  • misshv 3 years ago

    OOOOOOOOH, that Chinese guy is cute! Dr. Astronaut needs to visit my nether
    regions.

    Reply
  • Johann Suarez Cerven 3 years ago

    fifth and counting

    Reply
  • Geoffrey Han 3 years ago

    又黑我大天朝··· And for the vault boy below, IN YOUR FACE!

    Reply
  • iWebber 3 years ago

    I want Colbert Senpai to hug me like that. :(

    Reply
  • fidorover 3 years ago

    What you couldn’t see here: all the Chinese takeout menus he left lying on
    the floor by Stephen’s desk. Bastards.

    Reply
  • imhellag 3 years ago

    this is so fkn well written holy gao

    Reply
  • Richard Seinfeld 3 years ago

    this won’t cause another cancelcolbert twitter trend which was probably the
    main focus when they wrote this bit

    Reply
  • Trent Meade 3 years ago

    he is serious

    Reply
  • Robin Bougie 3 years ago

    Only a little over a 1000 views in 4 hours? Should have named the video
    “Chinese friends! Please watch this video!” and spelled out in Chinese
    characters if you want some of that sweet sweet Asian viewership, Stephen.

    Reply
  • goheat 3 years ago

    “GENERIC COMMENT ABOUT THE NEW WORLD ORDER”

    Reply
  • Otonashi Hanoka 3 years ago

    What a pretrentious cock.

    Reply
  • Distracted Observer 3 years ago

    Wow that graphic of the guy about to get run over dancing was offensive,
    funny as fuck but I’m sure it crossed the line somewhere lol

    Reply
  • Wall OfNoise 3 years ago

    Does Colbert eat something in every episode now?

    Reply
  • Leon Belmont 3 years ago

    who is this guy, apparently his accent showing Mandarin is not his native
    language, but still he still speaks pretty good.

    Reply
  • mancannon1 3 years ago

    Pacific Rim, Iron Man 3, the last Transformers

    Reply
  • Visceral Emu 3 years ago

    Yay, I found the pandas!

    Reply
  • thcollegestudent 3 years ago

    If I didn’t have a sense of humor, I might find that bit with tank man kind
    of tacky…if I didn’t have sense of humor.

    Reply
  • CCTV9 3 years ago

    lol that picture of Chyna

    Reply
  • Mathias Scarborough 3 years ago

    This is so ridiculously stupid, Stephen. Did no one on your staff read the
    book? The Chinese play the same role in the book. The whole point was to
    break borders. Just because China is this perceived other to us Americans,
    doesn’t mean they’re our enemy and science is the greatest bridge between
    cultures.

    Reply
  • Bernardo Grando 3 years ago

    Let me explain in way you americans can understand 50 years ago China was
    nothing, now China is the number 1 money maker, and in 50 years from from
    now all of you will be Chinese, and you think you can stop China think
    again, just like GM is too big to fail, well China is 18 trillion times too
    big to fail…

    Reply
  • Jon Snow 3 years ago

    China’s One Party – Communist system is THAT weak. It’s sad. Not even
    Russia does this sort of stuff, and they have Putin, a modern day Tsar.

    Fuck the Chinese government, pussies. Even YouTube is banned.

    Reply
  • Jonmad17 3 years ago

    The notion that The Martian plot point was inserted in order to pander to
    the Chinese market is ridiculous. It’s a major aspect of the book the film
    is based on, and ties right into its theme of global cooperation.

    Reply
  • 李カプセル 3 years ago

    乐屁了,医生的口音还是南派普通话

    Reply
  • Michael Oren 3 years ago

    banned for putting down chopsticks on the food/bowl… that’s just bad
    etiquette

    Reply
  • peter chen 3 years ago

    Well, I’ve watched The Colbert Report for years and it good The Late Show
    been put on You Tube

    Reply
  • banjiu10 3 years ago

    坦克,达赖,呵呵。。。
    对不起,天朝对推特不感兴趣,天朝的围脖微信比推特好用得多

    Reply
  • xiaomi707 3 years ago

    熊叔天天黑我大天朝 哈哈哈哈哈 不过熊叔我一样爱你 里面那ABC一看中文就说不好 不过挺帅气的

    Reply
  • goprocbr 3 years ago

    I think the Chinese were in the novel as well. Not just added for the movie
    to get into the Chinese market.

    Reply
  • Adam Rasmussen 3 years ago

    shouldn’t that be taikonaut?

    Reply
  • Nraged Chinchilla 3 years ago

    To be fair, the Chinese government plays a key role in the book, which is
    why the plot point is in the movie. So it’s not intentional massive
    pandering like Transformers: Age of Extinction where the last quarter of
    the movie was set in China.

    Reply
  • James Burney 3 years ago

    It would be more funny if the language the Asian man was speaking wasn’t a
    Chinese language / dialect.

    Reply
  • Michael Reszneki 3 years ago

    the Martian is just propaganda…NASA is fraud! we never went to the moon,
    look up “VAN ALLEN BELT”. It’s a radiation belt that goes around the Earth.
    Anything that passes through it would die. NASA is just trying to secure
    more funding that they can steal…

    Reply
  • Daluf 3 years ago

    Block typ was invented in Germany?

    Reply
  • Kevin Zhao 3 years ago

    I gotta say, none of these Asian Americans can speak proper Mandarin like a
    normal chinese do. Its hilarious. Especially the one in the movie, it
    cracked me up so bad.

    Reply
  • Trey Wright 3 years ago

    The colbert report>this crap, kinda upsetting how much of a bleeding heart
    he is, he was funnier when he was a “character” with the exact name, smh

    Reply
  • skrabins 3 years ago

    the same Chinese plot point was in the book so don’t go thinking it was
    added to sell movie tickets.

    Reply
  • lance ong 3 years ago

    I’ve been to China before. A boring and untourist friendly country.

    Reply
  • MrTofuPrincess 3 years ago

    Seriously not being racist (I am Asian) but Dr. Astronaut looks like he
    could be Jackie Chan’s son…

    Reply
  • dip cae 3 years ago

    Mr. Stephen Colbert, Is very important to put subtitles is a Great show..
    Thanks, Good Job.

    Reply
  • grass hopper 3 years ago

    The Martian comes out the exact same time that it’s announced water is on
    mars, coincidence? Nope, just a perfect way to sway public opinion in favor
    of billions of spending on nasa programs. Kinda like how war movies like
    American Sniper are made for emotional propaganda to sway the mainstream
    public into supporting war and thinking were the good guys fighting the bad
    guys, to feel bad for our troops cuz they have wives at home even tho we
    commit genocide

    Reply
  • Mustard Scroll 3 years ago

    “It’s the meal that chews you back” lmao

    Reply
  • Matthew Wang 3 years ago

    哈哈哈那个小伙子挺帅气。

    Reply
  • adhh xgxhhg 3 years ago

    Was that Jackie Chan?

    Reply
  • Blak 3 years ago

    Do I smell re-occurring guest? :D

    Reply
  • Fung Henry 3 years ago

    I’m a Chinese and I love Stephen! ???

    Reply
  • Cool Guy 3 years ago

    Holy fuck I understood his Chinese this is a progression of my learning

    Reply
  • Buenomars 3 years ago

    I would have guessed his name is Wong but 1.4 billion Chinese can’t all be
    Wong.

    Reply
  • gabb05 3 years ago

    are ur ratings doing bad stephen…that’s 2 segments in an episode where u
    alude to it

    Reply
  • IAm8BitWolf 3 years ago

    Actually the China plot point was always in the book, even when it wouldn’t
    have had a movie.

    Reply
  • DuuuuuudeItsJordan 3 years ago

    The Dalai Lama blocked emergency parking for ambulances, and the entire
    Mayo employee drop off area, with an entire fleet of black SUV’s with
    tinted windows. Happened for about a week in Rochester, MN. I confirm he is
    a villain.

    Reply
  • Jeremy Jakob 3 years ago

    Is steven doing okay in the ratings? I look at the views on this channcel
    compared to jimmy fallon and jimmy kimmel and his videos are viewed quite a
    bit less. His steven’s material too edgy and smart for mainstream America
    or is it just too early to tell?

    Reply
  • David Williams 3 years ago

    Man… I always thought it was weird when I would watch one of those super
    hero movies and all of a sudden there would be a random Chinese person. The
    Martian definitely pandered. It makes you think how we’re being manipulated
    to think a certain way. Scary… What’s real or not real.

    I say leave Matt Damon on Mars next time. He’s annoying. He kind of annoyed
    me in the film. Gravity was better it had pandering but to a lesser degree.

    Reply
  • jumbowana 3 years ago

    That table tennis joke is from Bill Bur.

    Reply
  • Auli Khoironi 3 years ago

    Is he private ryan’s grandson? damn we have to save him again..

    Reply
  • Ryan Dotsters 3 years ago

    #Filialpietyisthechiefofallvirtues

    Reply
  • thomas smalley 3 years ago

    the Martians a bad example to make because the Chinese space agency is
    portrayed exactly as it is in the book it is less pandering and more
    following the plot of a book.

    Reply
  • Alan Gad Manzano Reymundo 3 years ago

    Stephen gives the best hugs

    Reply
  • reelreeler 3 years ago

    NASA would say they’ve discovered free beer on Mars if they thought it
    would create support for a manned mission to Mars.

    Reply

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