Stephen Colbert’s Midnight Confessions, Vol. XXXIV

Published on October 27, 2017

When I worked at an office supply store, I used to steal paper. It had pictures of presidents on it.

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  • MCL MG 3 years ago

    I confess that I always turn to Comedy Central for Colbert Report reruns whenever #LSSC takes a break

  • Mirius Lightbringer 3 years ago

    I confess that i checked Midnight confessions out from the library instead of buying it, cause I’m broke as fuck. PS When i worked for Walmart I stole paper. It Also had pictures of presidents on it.

  • Jay Jones 3 years ago

    I confess that New Message gives me nightmares. I hope he has friends and is doing ok.

  • New Message 3 years ago

    If there’s a St Peter standing at a gate demanding to know what I did to ‘Worship God’s Greatness’ when I die .. I’mma point to this segment.

  • wan gibraltar 3 years ago

    i confess that this segment is getting shorter and shorter

  • Pondart Inc 3 years ago

    I childproofed my house,,,,,so Trump couldn’t get in………

  • Awkwardtunity 3 years ago

    Im almost 99% sure his writers stole that ice cream truck one from Twitter…or some social media site.

  • AT22 3 years ago

    This is definitely the best one of these. The writers really stepped up their game.

  • camelshit 3 years ago

    I confess the main attraction, for me, is Stephen’s ultra brusque shutter openings..

  • SuperSoap458 3 years ago

    I confess that I actually enjoy Batiste’s offscreen laughter and banter.

  • MagicMichael827 3 years ago

    I confess I have never stolen anything from work but have taken the blame so the manager would shut up and let us get back to work.

  • lazyperfectionist1 3 years ago

    I like to go to the playground and watch the children run and jump and scream, because they don’t realize I’m using blanks.

  • Chungyky 3 years ago

    i’m pretty sure that the hacky sac story is true.

    but then again, who wouldn’t go on a date with stephen?

  • Bozo The Clown 3 years ago

    “If we’re stuck on a desert island I will eat u…I will eat u” Stephen Colbert 2K17

  • Shredded Wheat 3 years ago

    I confess that during the election… I tried really hard to like Trump. I even went on his website and saw all the progressive and reasonable things he had planned and thought maybe he wouldnt be so bad. Audiance… at no point did I consider that everything i saw there that gave me hope were all lies and bull shit. I was so nieve. Can you forgive me?

  • Buclodi 3 years ago

    I think that droning wasn’t Jon this time. It sounded like someone in the crowd.

  • Ruth Lee 3 years ago

    Could someone explain to me the chapstick joke…I’m lost.

  • Coaster Labs 3 years ago

    What?! No confession that gives Stephen an excuse to have a drink? Malarkey!

  • Benzaiten 3 years ago

    Dear comment section……Last week I became desperate while Stephen wasn’t around so I grabbed mother’s wallet, ran out of the house and purchased “Stephen Colbert’s Midnight Confessions”. Only it wasn’t my mother’s wallet, or house or even my own mother in the first place.

    Please forgive me.

  • Badar Shahzad 3 years ago

    I’ve been depressed for the past 12 hours,, haven’t even left my room and even I laughed at the who let the dogs out joke


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