Stephen recaps the Super Bowl, catches up on unidentified flying objects invading U.S. airspace, and marvels at the latest scandals involving Rep. George Santos.
#Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
Stephen recaps the Super Bowl, catches up on unidentified flying objects invading U.S. airspace, and marvels at the latest scandals involving Rep. George Santos.
#Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
Funny that he gives Canada crap for a US plane taking the shot, even though he also outlined in the same skit that the US has WAY bigger of a military budget, so therefore can afford the missiles.
ReplyThis is the joint military operation version of “you got the bonus checks so you are buying”
Oh, come on now… It HAD to be authorized by the leader of the country (Canada) whose air space it is in! It is then up to NORAD (Canadians and Americans) to blast it. Play nicely with your northern neighbors, eh?
ReplyI feel that writer deep, man… As I’m sure most of us who have been pregnant can vouch for, lol. My (late) mom when she was pregnant with my brother cried for four days straight – no joke, four days, couldn’t sleep because she was just *wailing* – over a commercial where a family buys a puppy for their kids as a Christmas present but then ignore it, and it was basically an ad in the late 90s warning people to not do that.
My dad walked into the room after the ordeal and saw she wasn’t crying anymore, and thinking this would be funny to say to her, just sighs and says, “That poor puppy thought he had a home, didn’t he?” She just absolutely f***ing BURST again – almost like a balloon that was popped by a missile lol, except in crying form.
I had my own dog/baby commercial that got me, too… Damn Amazon ad with a cute Japanese family that wouldn’t stop playing relentlessly…
The ads, man… They’re like straight up horror films mixed with Marley and Me for pregnant women over even some of the most seemingly mundane things.
Although it definitely happens with other things, too. In my second pregnancy, I dropped a handful of crackers and started sobbing because I stepped on them by accident. Then laughed maniacally because of how silly that was, while still being unable to stop crying. And simultaneously crying while laughing at myself over what a mess I was. So at least the writer’s reason made legit sense, lol.
ReplyWhy is everyone doing the “Atlanta Braves” chant/chop? I thought this was football not baseball…. either way- ewww
ReplyIn George Santos defense, how was he supposed to know the Amish could call the police?
Replyif the being doing the probe is from Mexico does that count as an alien?
ReplyYou forgot to mention how Rihanna grabbed her crotch and smelled her fingers.
ReplyPolar vortex changes as predicted by climate models years ago. So, sorry climate change has important political impact.
ReplyFake enthusiasm fake applause fake banter with the musicians the show is so contrived. Colbert should just stay home and phone it in. Yawn I use to like him . But …
ReplyI hate what happened to late night TV. Well, at least it cannot last much longer. Oh right news never tells you about climate change. Billions will soon die but Colbert thinks instead of that, he should whine about a football team? Priorities are set on “political”, which math says is now a false belief system Steve! Hm, guess that one would make you less money…much more vital than a football team name…billions will seriously die as we are only now a few years from doubling the irreversible mark in greenhouse gases, 8 years after hitting it.
ReplyBut yeah, all your politics is powerless to stop it so you choose denial about that? Yet you think others need to be more worried about the Chiefs? Really?
Well earths oceans produce 70% of earths oxygen Steve….They are already dying fast…how fast will they die when we hit 700ppm in greenhouse gases in a few years?
Well Steve, I am almost certain the great barrier reef will be already dead by then. Why?
Well it’s already “bleaching” Steve…
So say goodbye to earths oxygen sooner than you’d ever guess Steve.
But I am sure math and truth both proving politics/patriotism/nationalism are now officially false beliefs won’t slow down Steve at all! Right Steve?
Also…I really doubt you can get the Chiefs name changed in the amount of time humans have to rule earth.
Happy denial making millions a year! Hey! Just like news does!
Sad that you will mislead so many being self righteous all the while tho ey?
Aliens will target USA first for being undisciplined and willing to kill advanced alians. They will die first from the skies. tis written in christmas santas sorties.
ReplyThis is just the beginning. As Nena warned us back in 83, there’s 99 red balloons
Reply“Oh germany you have lost the right to group hand gestures.”
Fair enough – if, in return, THE US WAIVES IT’S RIGHT TO DISPLAY BLACK PEOPLE ON STAGES!
Seriously, WW2 is 77 YEARS AGO and pretty much every german who fought in that war or voted for Hitler is dead. Lets just not pretend that US americans did NEVER anything bad, like killing millions of native americans, holding millions of africans as slaves and starting countless wars wich killed also millions of innocent civilians.
So germany has lost the right to group hand gestures? I beg to differ. Stephen Colbert is just the epitome of the arrogant pretentious american “liberal” who always acts like he is fighting stereotypes while 90% of his stupid jokes are based on stereotypes and ignorance. He is the type of person that would go crazy if someone would make a joke about black people loving chicken but at the same time he has no problem making jokes about all russians with his “is potatoe” jokes or acting like all germans are still nazis. That is so typical for the hypocrisy of US “liberals”. They claim to fight against the oppression of marginalized minorities, but the alleged political correctness is immediately forgotten when it comes to people who did not have the privilege of being a citizen of the United States. When a black man is mistreated by the police in the USA, they get terribly upset about the supposed racism, but when children in the Congo have to mine cobalt for a dollar a day at gunpoint or women in Southeast Asia have to work under inhumane conditions in sweatshops so that we can buy smartphones and cheap clothes they couldn’t care less. The MAGA idiots shout “america first” but the so called liberals are not any different from them at all. Deep down, all U.S. americans seem to have succumbed to the delusion that they have the right to rule the world and take whatever they want. The only difference between “liberals” and “conservatives” is that the conservatives are more open about it while the liberals prefer to hypocrite.
ReplyActually the Canadian prime minister can order U.S. fighter jets to shoot things down through NORAD, just like your president can do with ours, that is how closely linked or militaries are when it comes to North American air defense.
ReplyPlease cover the situation in Ohio with a whole city being poisoned by a train derailment/chemical weapon.
Reply