Quarantinewhile… Stephen tries out some of the steamy bot-generated pickup lines that resulted from an experiment on artificial intelligence. #Colbert #Meanwhile #Quarantinewhile
Quarantinewhile… Stephen tries out some of the steamy bot-generated pickup lines that resulted from an experiment on artificial intelligence. #Colbert #Meanwhile #Quarantinewhile
To be fair to the AI, “Can I see your parts list” sounds like it could get a laugh. Sometimes.
Replyim pretty sure they ment that as a joke, but i have to be honest. “stick around” being said to me, from the opposite sex, might be the hottest thing im likely to hear said this year except maybe the actual temperature
ReplyWhoever needs this: “You look like a thing and I love you”!
ReplyStephen Colbert reading those pickup lines made me pragnent and I don’t even have a uterus
ReplyI am confused, did Stephen pick up these pickup lines because they are good or because they are bad?
ReplyColbert needs to not do pickup lines
ReplyHaven’t seen the video yet. I wonder if this is about Janelle Shane and her AI weirdness blog.
ReplyAnd if not, check that out anyway, it’s an absolute gold mine! Her book “You look like a thing and I love you” (which is an AI generated pickup line as well, coincidentally), if you want a more in-depth look on it. 😉
“sometimes when I’m on the run from my ostrich smuggling ring and high on bath salt and wallpaper glue I scrape an old rail spike against a cinder block until it’s just sharp enough to field dress roadkill make a handle out of a used shop towel hold on with discarded tennis racket tape so I can conceal in my sleeve the rusty drifter shiv that is my segment QUARATINEWHILE!!!… ” *BRILLIANT* – crazy, mad, brilliant – whoever is writing these – I think this is my favourite so far – *thank you*
ReplyAw, Yahoo Answers will shut down on my birthday. I’m not sad, just a little nostalgic. I’ve asked a couple of questions there in the distant past. I can see why it’s shutting down, no one goes there anymore, lol.
Edit: those pickup lines had my tearing up, I was laughing so hard! XD
ReplySo who counted the bees?
ReplyCan I see your parts list
Replythese pickup lines where better than some I heard in my life… at least you can put some RAM into the PC and make it improve…
Reply5:35 She looks a bit phased tbh.
ReplyWho comes up with these meanwhile intros?! Lol
Reply“Infinity. That’s the point where my love for you stops.”
ReplyDamn, that’s actually so romantic! No joke, that’s a really beautiful thing to say. Sure, it’s a little weird phrasing, but I wouldn’t mind that.
yall gotta kill the pre meanwhile bit, its getting way too old and long
ReplyOne whole minute setup for meanwhile. Gosh you must be starving for material at the moment xD
ReplyWhat will MBMBaM do without Yahoo! Answers?!?! Has anyone checked on the McElroy’s?
ReplyTFW the AI has more game than you
ReplyStephen…PUT THE ROSE DOWN!! That was not consenual rose-play!!
ReplyMy favorite one is “you’re looking good today. Want snacks?”
ReplyI thought the athlete was showing his citizenship papers lol
ReplyThis is probably the longest Quarantinewhile intro ever.
ReplyI love this as wide as the 6 cylandar Hundai Santa Fe’s rear bumper
ReplyThank you for exposing yahoo, the do as well in their “news” section too.
Reply0:32 – in the spirit of being overly detailed, you wouldn’t put a bevel on blank steel with a 6k whetstone. You couldn’t even repair edge chips with that. Gotta start with a bench grinder for the bevel shape, then 250 grit for the edge, then 1k to hone and 6k to polish.
ReplyBtw if anyone thought we were actually close to AI, you now have your answer
ReplyA-1 must stand for assholes.
ReplyFun Fact!
ReplyEvery time Apple learns of a tough new material to protect their screens, the use that toughness to make the screens thinner.
Not stronger!
Gorilla glass, of the right thickness, is not only scratch resistant, it’s very flexible!
Make it too thin, it breaks like an Apple promise.
The most expensive phones in the world are designed to be delicate.
Oh my god. Babby has been formed on Late Show.
ReplyJanelle Shane (the wonderful scientist who is committing these A.I. shenanigans) has made the world so much weirder in just the right way.
ReplyThe icy caterpillar explicitly mine because barometer sicily fancy towards a deranged mercury. tedious, vacuous riverbed
ReplyThat instrumental playing in the background of Stephen’s bars is dope af!!
ReplyHey how the hell did you get my list of pickup lines from when I was in High School?….I mean, those AI pickup lines were hilarious and totally nothing close to whatever smooth lines I delivered in High School.
ReplyAs someone who loves Japanese chef knives and my collection of pocket knives, I approve this introduction!!
ReplyI want to know who counted the Bees?
ReplyAm I the only one that checks the back seat for murderers?
ReplyAm I the only one who thinks he should have been saying those to Evie?
ReplyI enjoyed seeing this rerun of Jimmy Snow’s show, the Sometimes Show.
ReplyYour writers better be getting paid top-tier salaries
Reply“You look like a thing and I love you.”
ReplyThe whole intro to Quarantinewhile sounds like it was written by an AI who just escaped from cyber-prison where he was forced to watch all of your Quarantinewhile monologues.
Reply“You look like a thing and I love you”
ReplyHow sweet, love at first sight <3
What’s your sign and do you come here often steal works.
ReplyLol
ReplyOk, you need to find out who counted the bees Stephen!!!
ReplyPlease make Stephen try AI pickup lines a recurring segment.
ReplyI AM BEGGING YOU !!!!
I’m waiting for the sequel: When AI goes INCEL.
ReplyRusty, drifter shiv of new…
ReplyI’m sure the lefties loonies will be outraged over this unless of course its lines for guys trying to pick up other guys or some other disgusting “alt lifestyle”
Replyhe looks a lot older
Reply“Alexa, if I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”
~Alan Turing.
ReplyHigh Five to Kansas City and the vaccine card~!!!
ReplyDo you have enough memory? Because I’d love to Ram you up!
-Some courtship A.I. probably
ReplyI will kind of miss debating Christians on Yahoo! answers.
ReplyEVIE wheezing during the pickup lines is the BEST
ReplyWho counted the bees?
ReplyColbert…………Shill of da future!!!!
ReplyOh no, I hope those bees weren’t exterminated, they were just looking for a ride to the nearest hive!
ReplyThe spiritual mist ultimately cross because mattock worrisomely guarantee throughout a enormous avenue. hesitant, scary tuna
ReplyI’m going to miss these intimate shows.
ReplyProtect that AI at all costs!
Reply–frantically taking notes–
ReplyYahoo answers got me thru college physics 🙁
Reply1 bee is about 1/10 of a gram. 15,000 bees weighs about 1,500g or 3.3 pounds or just under half the weight of a milk jug.
ReplyBet you replayed that vault landing
ReplyWhat an intro! Next level! Chapeau Stephen.
ReplyI’m going to have to change my panties…because I peed myself laughing.
ReplyHaving listened to the AI pickup lines I think we’ve found where Stephen gets his Quarantinewhile intros from. 🙂
ReplyHi on bath salts……………………what brand?
ReplyHow did he count the bees? Also, where the hell is Evie during this bit?
ReplySo funny! Laughed so much!
ReplyThe intro is sooooooo amazing and there’s no sign of it stopping
ReplyChuck Tingle needs to novelize most of these pickup lines.
ReplyThis would have been so much better if your wife was there
ReplyPF flyers makes you jump higher or so i heard
Replymuch love
ReplyYaah Chau Bhai.
ReplyTheir Own Destruction
ReplyBus in logo ko hi pta hai. Humm.
Reply4:52 “It is urgent you become a professional athlete.” XD
ReplyThis is very funny, as usual, but I would just like to say that I definitely skip his beginning monologue for this segment of the show because it goes on and on. And I don’t find it funny. 🙁 I’m sorry, Mr. Colbert, but I love your show all the same! <3
ReplyI would have left my car with the title in the lot and gotten a Lyft home.
ReplyI was expecting “wanna reboot in failsafe mode?”
ReplyNOT THE BEES!
ReplyNot gonna lie, “can I see your parts list?” could work depending on circumstances.
ReplyWHY is a rugboat?
ReplyThe last time I used “Can I see your parts list?” at a bar, I got hit with a restraining order.
ReplySeriously though losing Yahoo Answers means losing Quality KenM trolling.
ReplyWhy wasn’t your wife in these pickup lines?
Reply“How is babby formed?” God, that takes me back. Such a classic.
ReplyLol you’re on it tonight.
Reply“KIss my Astrazeneca” !!!!!!!!!
ReplyGoodness, that knife porn you started with. You had my attention at ‘carbon news steel.” Someone’s been watching ‘Forged in Fire.’
ReplyQuarantine-while
Reply