Quarantinewhile… In a move that couldn’t possibly go wrong, the city of Chicago has placed all its rodent removal hopes on the trustworthiness of 1,000 feral cats. #Colbert #Meanwhile #Quarantinewhile
Quarantinewhile… In a move that couldn’t possibly go wrong, the city of Chicago has placed all its rodent removal hopes on the trustworthiness of 1,000 feral cats. #Colbert #Meanwhile #Quarantinewhile
Your show is supposed to talk about everything that’s happening in the wolrd, do you not have the balls ro say something about israel/palestine events?
ReplyAnd then you just rely on the fact that the cats will statistically fall victim to stray bullets before they have the chance to procreate…
ReplyThe cat thing is a bad idea, we have plenty of cats in our house and still have rat problem. Cats maybe affective against small mouse but they can’t do much against full grown rat. Rats are ruthless and have a lethal bites. Believe me, you can mistake them for a rabbit.
ReplyIn addition, outdoor cats are the reason for the extinction of many wild birds populations.
3:34 When I thought job application couldn’t get any more worst or awkward.,
ReplyThe “Bourgeois Bento” would sound cooler, than the bourgeois meal kit… a gift to you for free
ReplyHow can an animal rescue organisation release neutered cats onto the streets to eat rats without any concern for their welfare? It seems wrong on so many levels. The cats should be re-homed, if they are a real rescue.
ReplyEarthday blessings to Stephen. Here’s to getting as much joy as you give 🥂🥳🥳
ReplyDon’t make fun of spaying programs, you have kill shelters and puppy mills, for crying out loud. This is degenerating quickly, Michelle won’t help in the long run.
ReplyHistorically we already tried this and it didn’t go well. Now we can’t get rid of those damn cats
ReplyThe outrageous cylinder regretfully save because laugh concomitantly crawl toward a wary tramp. perpetual, substantial delivery
ReplyI want an audio book of Stephen doing ASMR, for me to sleep.
ReplyCat: “I’ll take that bet…..”
ReplyUTZ!!
ReplyAnd to get rid of the cat infestation, we bring in dogs. And to get rid of the dogs, we bring in alligators… and so on, and so on, until we end up with a city bursting with gorillas.
Reply“speaker”
ReplyOoh, I’m excited about the cats in Chicago. I hope they make it a permanent thing like it is where I am now. Cats everywhere, and people feed them all the time. It’s so nice.
ReplyWhere’s John?
ReplyWhatever Colbert don’t act like your a cat person!
ReplyStop using innocent homeless animals. #catslivesmatter the rat problem is a fundamentaly a problem brought on by human neglect. A multi level human problem. What if the cats get cross contaminated by rat poison exposure? Let this NOT become a #deathsentence to these cats. Think people THINK !
ReplyYou mean to tell me that after a long & tiring day of catching rats, those neutered cats can’t even have sex??
ReplyHEY – HEY EVIE, TOSS ME A CAKE BALL. HEY- HEY! .. HEY! NOW !
ReplyThe dogs will be next. Reminds us of the poem by CJ Dennis:
Grimbles and the Gnad
It was told me by a bushman, bald and bent, and very old,
Upon the road to Poolyerleg; and here’s the tale he told.
‘Twould seem absurd to doubt his word, so honest he appeared—
And, as he spoke, the sou’-west wind toyed gently with his beard.
“First it was the Grimble Grubs,
Which they et his taters;
An’ all we buried in the end
Was Martin’s boots an gaiters.”
With this cryptic observation he began his anecdote;
And, when I sought particulars, he smiled and cleared his throat;
Then sat him down, and with his brown, rough hands about his knees
He told it all. And, as he spoke, his beard waved in the breeze.
“First it was the Grimble Grubs—
As I sez at startin’—
Which they et his tater crop,
Which it troubled Martin.
“Now, this Martin was a farmer with a scientific mind”—
(It was thus the bushman started, as his beard blew out behind)—
“He farmed the land and, understand, his luck was all tip-top,
Till them there little Grimble Grubs got in his tater crop.
“P’raps you have heard of Grimble Grubs; more likely p’raps you’ve not;
When once they taste your taters you can look to lose the lot.
An’ poor Martin, he was worried till he met a feller who
Had read a book about the Swook, the which lives in Peru.
“Now the Swook it is a beetle that inhabits Wuzzle Shrubs,
An’ it makes a steady diet of the little Grimble Grubs;
So Martin he imported some, at very great expense,
An’ turned ’em loose to play the dooce and teach the Grimbles sense.
“Then he swore by Wuzzle Swooks—
Friends of cultivators—
Which they et the Grimble Grubs,
Which they et his taters.
“But when the Wuzzle Swooks had et the Grimble Grubs right up,
Then they had to change their habits for to find a bite an’ sup;
So they started on his turnips, which was summat to their taste,
Till Mister Martin’s turnip patch became a howlin’ waste.
“Then he natural grew peevish, till one afternoon he heard,
From a feller in the poultry line, about the Guffer Bird
Which is native of Mauritius and the woods of Tennessee,
An’ preys upon the Wuzzle Swooks for breakfast, lunch, and tea.
“So he got some Guffer Birds
Over from Mauritius,
Which the same by nature are
Greedy an’ malicious,
Which they et the Wuzzle Swooks—
Plague of cultivators—
Which they et the Grimble Grubs,
Which they et his taters.
“Then Martin swore by Guffer Birds, until one day he found
They’d et up all the Wuzzle Swooks for miles an’ miles around,
An’, havin’ still some appetite, an’ bein’ mighty mean,
They perched upon his apple trees and stripped his orchard clean.
“Here’s where Martin got excited; he was in an awful funk,
Until one day he read about the little Warty Swunk,
Which has his home in Mexico, an’ lives on Guffer Birds;
An’ Martin, bein’ desperate, imported him in herds.
“Then he praised the Warty Swunks,
Beady-eyed and vicious,
Which they et the Guffer Birds,
Native of Mauritius,
Which they et the Wuzzle Swooks—
Plague of cultivators—
Which they et the Grimble Grubs,
Which they et his taters.
“Now them Swunks were simply wonders, an’ old Martin stopped his growls,
Till they et up all the Guffer Birds, an’ started on his fowls.
An’ the riots in his hen-house that occurred near every night
They robbed him of his beauty sleep an’ turned his whiskers white.
“He was wearin’ to a shadder, till by accident he seen
A picture of the Boggle Dog in some old magazine.
And the same he was notorious for huntin’ Swunks an’ such,
And for livin’ on their livers which he fancied very much.
“Now the Boggle Dog of Boffin’s Land is most extremely rare,
But Martin mortgaged house an’ home just to import a pair.
They was most feerocious animals; but Martin he was mad;
An’ he sooled ’em on the Warty Swunks with all the breath he had.
“Oh, he loved the Boggle Dogs,
Called ’em ‘Dear’ an’ ‘Darlin’ ‘—
Fierce, feerocious Boggle Dogs,
With their savage snarlin’;
Which they et the Warty Swunks,
Beady-eyed and vicious,
Which they et the Guffer Birds,
Native of Mauritius,
Which they et the Wuzzle Swooks—
Plague of cultivators—
Which they et the Grimble Grubs,
Which they et his taters.
“Then Martin he picked up a bit, an’ got his proper sleep,
Until he found the Boggle Dogs had taken to his sheep;
For Warty Swunks is hard to catch, and nimble on their feet,
An’ livers of merino lambs is just as nice to eat.
“Now, I’m thinkin’ here that Martin must have gone a trifle mad,
Else he’d never have imported such a creature as the Gnad;
For the Gnad, though few folks know it, roams about the Boffin bogs
An’ he has a passin’ fancy for the flesh of Boggle Dogs.
“But Martin he imported one with his last bit of cash,
An’ loosed him on the Boggle Dogs—an action worse than rash;
But the Boggles stayed in hidin’, for the Boggles were discreet,
And the Gnad he cast his eye around for something he could eat.
“‘Sool ’em, Towser!’ shouted Martin, dancin’ ‘mid his ravaged crops;
But the Gnad regarded Martin as he slowly licked his chops.
An’ the last we seen of Martin, far as I can call to mind,
He was tearin’ round his paddick with the Gnad just close behind.
“First it was the Grimble Grubs,
Which they et his taters,
Then it was the Wuzzle Swooks—
Plague of cultivators—
Then it was the Guffer Birds,
Native of Mauritius,
Then it was the Warty Swunks,
Beady-eyed an’ vicious,
Then it was the Boggle Dogs,
With their snarls and snort in’,
Till the bad voracious Gnad
Finished his imp or tin’.
An’ all because the Grimble Grubs
They got into his taters
We never found a stitch of him
But blucher boots and gaiters.”
Thus the bushman closed his story with a sympathetic sigh;
ReplyThen wrung my hand most heartily, and sadly said “Good-bye.”
And, as he went, ’twas evident that he was ill at ease:
He bowed his head, and, as I’ve said, his beard waved in the breeze.
Ya know how expensive Tesla stock is?? Gift plz!
ReplyApparently Chicago city Council watched this video and thought “hey, good idea”.
Replyhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNwmzDlyCt8
LOL those cats got a shit deal
ReplyUhm… the cat thing, that’s horrible. They’ll be fed by bleeding hearts, rip each other to shreds, be hit by cars, catch diseases and parasites- I could truly go on and on.
ReplyStephen has a talent for asmr
ReplyOh, that’s so cute! Stephen thinks Tik Tok is famous of ASMR videos
ReplyCats have been used in Europe for hundreds of years, just walk in the old sections of town and the plaza and you will see packs of them all over.
ReplyMan I miss when this show was funny.
ReplyIn some part of the world, there are a group of people call community feeder that will roam the street and feed the street cats
Replyoh come on. binford 6100 was right there
ReplyStephen, I love that you included the word kerning!
Replythey should get cute cats and kittens like the ones in klaip in #TreeOfSavior because those cute cats will be your friends if you feed them fishes 😀
Replywill u talk about whats going on in Palestine hmmmmm????
ReplyLive guests will be nice (Jon Stewart I’m looking at you) but I’m really quite happy with an audience of Evie and Chris the cameraman.
ReplyHe’s actually got that mic pretty well calibrated for ASMR.
ReplyMost sewer rats can beat up a cat. I had to have a rat tooth surgically removed from my cats skull once. I’m all for TVNR programs but cats eat mice, not rats😹
ReplyThat’s so stupid. Introduce cats, to kill rats (which most of them don’t do), then when they get rid of the rats, there’ll be a lot of cats on the streets and no one to take care of them. STUPID
ReplyIs it just me or are the “Meanwhile” intros getting longer and more unbearable? It was cute the first 50 times but now it’s like sitting through the Stations of the Cross before we get to the good stuff. Please ditch the intros, Stephen!
ReplyWe have two cats and the lazy fat one is the one that catches all the rats, lol
ReplyO. M. G. I hate AMSR!!!
ReplyTriscuit dust is a great casserole topper! They are the best crackers by far! 👍
ReplyWhen Stephen goes back to live shows he should have Evie sit at the end of the couch just to laugh at his jokes sort of like Ed McMahon.
ReplyWhen the rats and mice are in plague populations, after the first couple of days, the cats just allow the vermin to run over them.
ReplyYet no Iron Maiden, no Judas Priest bands that each have played to more fans over the last 40 years than all those that have made it this year combined. How about Willie Nelson, Foo Fighters, or Jethro Tull. All those bands are offshoots of Rock n Roll.
ReplyAs for the cats if they use big cats they could likely solve their crime and rat problem at the same time. Let some panthers, lions and tigers lose streets will be crime free in no time.
ReplyColbert – you are awesome, but you do not grok cats.
ReplyCats and Owls work great to be rid of rodents.
You don’t see any cats or else at Mar-a-Lago do you? 🤣
ReplyPetition to have Stephen start doing ASMR.
Reply“South Korean couples are wooing each other with Tesla stocks.”
Reply🤔 Those South Koreans have a _very_ different idea of romance.
They could just hang pics of Mayor Beetle Juice in the sewers to scare them all away. If you need something stronger have her posing with Hillary for a double dose.
ReplySoooo, are they going to bring in dogs to get rid of all the stray cats? FYI, cats have litters of kittens, so they’ll have a sh*t ton of cats running around 😟
ReplySay it isn’t so, 1000 feral cats put out to help a rat problem? Does no one in Chicago govt know how hard, how much suffering is involved on the part of feral cats? In addition to which, they don’t go after rats; they are in danger from rats: rats prey on hungry, thirsty, exhausted and frightened cats. feral cats seldom even go after birds, despite what birders contend, the basis of their irrational, also unfounded prejudice against feral cats when it is domestic companion cats allowed out without a bell on a collar who go after birds as sport bc they are well and fed and able to play? Why ask defenseless animals to solve a problem caused by humans? Who improperly dispose of trash, food waste? How about restaurants? How about going the San Francisco route of educating and empowering all residents to compost? Help reduce the planet’s methane by responsible separation of food waste from inorganic, recyclable trash? This is an extraordinary and heartbreaking piece of news.
ReplyI would rather get a stock option then ant gift
ReplyThe Windy City? Not anymore, it’s the The Kitty City now
ReplyThe Chicago rats can go to Gary. Not like millions of dirty rodents could make that city worse.
Replyhad summa that stew last night.
ReplyWho will save these cats from the Chicago Winter? Cats are equatorial creatures – these are NOT Polar Cats. Anyone from Northern Illinois bothered by this?
ReplyThere seems to be an inexplicable dislike of cats from Mr. Colbert.
ReplyI treat listening to the opening to your meanwhile segments like a fun brain exercise 😝
ReplyHas he said anything on Isreal/Palestinians this week?
ReplyThe Very Idea that Carole King Was NOT one of the FIRST inductees into the ‘Rock and Roll Hall of Fame’ screams volumes of the misogyny that STILL Reigns in the Music Industry. Carole King provided the record companies with some of their greatest hits she never performed until way later in her career. Carole King GODDESS MOTHER OF ROCK MUSIC.
ReplyI want to hear Evie’s laugh every day.
Reply3:53 TURN YOUR SPEAKERS DOWN
ReplyWho gets rid of the cats?
ReplyCATLOVE4EVER!!! 😍
Reply😏Ooohhh man! This “Quarantinewhile” sucked this time around. Ther usually really good… idk what happened
ReplyBased on the amount of dead mice and moles I found in my backyard a pack of cairn terriers might be more effective albeit more expensive and stubborn.
ReplyI hate meeses to pieces!
ReplyJINX the cat.
LL Cool J is not rock and the R&R hall of fame is a joke. Absolute garbage.
ReplyIf they want real rodent control, snakes are unsurpassed at it.
ReplySurprise, there’s probably some law about price manipulation tesla broke by offering the gift cards
ReplyStephen, can you please send me the recipe for your quarantinewhile?
Reply‘nutritionally deficient college hangover cure…’
ReplyHow about Evie as co-host or Ed McMahon character, at least for a while? Please?
ReplyChicago just abandoned 1000 cats to starve, is that it??? WTF USA??
ReplyWhat?! No Warren Zevon.
Replyin ancient Egypt cats were trained to kill trespassers in the royal palace
ReplyThe day doesn’t end well until I get cozy into bed with my puppy and enjoy this man….Love you Stephen Colbert!
ReplyWait, how could Tina Turner and Carole King not have been in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame until now? 🤦♂️
ReplySOOO CRINGY …. EWW
ReplyNext, they’ll spay, and neuter the stray dogs to deal with the feral cat problem…
IDKY she swallowed the fly…
Perhaps she’ll die?
ReplyWhile I’m wondering things, how could there not have been feral cats in Chicago until now?
ReplyOh, it’ll be fine cause you’ll cut off the cat’s balls, right?
ReplyThe great philosopher Jeff Goldblum: “Well…uh..life.. *burp* …life, uh… finds a way….”
I wish those feral cats luck with those rats. We lived out in the country in NJ when I was a little girl and had rats in the house. My father brought home a cat, put it down the cellar, and the rats beat the snot out of the poor thing. He became a house pet who never went near the cellar again. The cat I have now murders spiders, but that’s about it.
ReplyNo mention of genocide of Palestinians? I am disappointed. I had been an avid fan of yours for 5years
ReplyWas not expecting to hear a put-down against an Asian culture in the monologue, but apparently liking different gifts than the white man is considered laughable.
ReplyGraphic designer: Kerning! He said kerning!
Reply“Cats At Work” should have been called “Cats Living And Working.” A more positive title for the work-release animal shelter program, and a better acronym.
ReplyTiff? Tiff? Video won’t download. Must be contraband or subversive material. I never would have guessed it.
Replyhttps://youtu.be/am_A-YP4KzI
Replycrrriiiinngeee…wow colbert.. when you used to be funny.. SHAME ZZZZzzzzz
ReplyCats are among the most successful hunters.
Replythem cats are great. i had a pair when i lived in chicago. its mostly wealthy hoods
ReplyASMR! ❤️
ReplyStephen, didn’t you get the memo? You’re apparently the only person still in quarantine
ReplyCats get rid of rats?
Reply