Quarantinewhile… Chicago Gambles On Cats To Rid The City Of Rats

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Published on May 14, 2021

Quarantinewhile… In a move that couldn’t possibly go wrong, the city of Chicago has placed all its rodent removal hopes on the trustworthiness of 1,000 feral cats. #Colbert #Meanwhile #Quarantinewhile

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98 comments

  • Change Time 1 year ago

    Your show is supposed to talk about everything that’s happening in the wolrd, do you not have the balls ro say something about israel/palestine events?

    Reply
  • Closeup Channel 1 year ago

    And then you just rely on the fact that the cats will statistically fall victim to stray bullets before they have the chance to procreate…

    Reply
  • Houssem Ben Abdallah 1 year ago

    The cat thing is a bad idea, we have plenty of cats in our house and still have rat problem. Cats maybe affective against small mouse but they can’t do much against full grown rat. Rats are ruthless and have a lethal bites. Believe me, you can mistake them for a rabbit.
    In addition, outdoor cats are the reason for the extinction of many wild birds populations.

    Reply
  • Houssem Ben Abdallah 1 year ago

    3:34 When I thought job application couldn’t get any more worst or awkward.,

    Reply
  • Stephen Cotton 1 year ago

    The “Bourgeois Bento” would sound cooler, than the bourgeois meal kit… a gift to you for free

    Reply
  • Georgina Shanti 1 year ago

    How can an animal rescue organisation release neutered cats onto the streets to eat rats without any concern for their welfare? It seems wrong on so many levels. The cats should be re-homed, if they are a real rescue.

    Reply
  • Lucian M 1 year ago

    Earthday blessings to Stephen. Here’s to getting as much joy as you give 🥂🥳🥳

    Reply
  • R. V. 1 year ago

    Don’t make fun of spaying programs, you have kill shelters and puppy mills, for crying out loud. This is degenerating quickly, Michelle won’t help in the long run.

    Reply
  • Crit 1 year ago

    Historically we already tried this and it didn’t go well. Now we can’t get rid of those damn cats

    Reply
  • Sebastian Stone 1 year ago

    The outrageous cylinder regretfully save because laugh concomitantly crawl toward a wary tramp. perpetual, substantial delivery

    Reply
  • Napoléon I Bonaparte 1 year ago

    I want an audio book of Stephen doing ASMR, for me to sleep.

    Reply
  • MaskedMarvyl 1 year ago

    Cat: “I’ll take that bet…..”

    Reply
  • j g 1 year ago

    UTZ!!

    Reply
  • New Message 1 year ago

    And to get rid of the cat infestation, we bring in dogs. And to get rid of the dogs, we bring in alligators… and so on, and so on, until we end up with a city bursting with gorillas.

    Reply
  • Neil Marshall 1 year ago

    “speaker”

    Reply
  • MathShinobi 1 year ago

    Ooh, I’m excited about the cats in Chicago. I hope they make it a permanent thing like it is where I am now. Cats everywhere, and people feed them all the time. It’s so nice.

    Reply
  • Bayoh 1 year ago

    Where’s John?

    Reply
  • GuyVader Productions 1 year ago

    Whatever Colbert don’t act like your a cat person!

    Reply
  • Vi An MUSIC 1 year ago

    Stop using innocent homeless animals. #catslivesmatter the rat problem is a fundamentaly a problem brought on by human neglect. A multi level human problem. What if the cats get cross contaminated by rat poison exposure? Let this NOT become a #deathsentence to these cats. Think people THINK !

    Reply
  • Davis Mendoza Darusman 1 year ago

    You mean to tell me that after a long & tiring day of catching rats, those neutered cats can’t even have sex??

    Reply
  • Happy Clown 1 year ago

    HEY – HEY EVIE, TOSS ME A CAKE BALL. HEY- HEY! .. HEY! NOW !

    Reply
  • Redline Guiding 1 year ago

    The dogs will be next. Reminds us of the poem by CJ Dennis:

    Grimbles and the Gnad

    It was told me by a bushman, bald and bent, and very old,
    Upon the road to Poolyerleg; and here’s the tale he told.
    ‘Twould seem absurd to doubt his word, so honest he appeared—
    And, as he spoke, the sou’-west wind toyed gently with his beard.

    “First it was the Grimble Grubs,
    Which they et his taters;
    An’ all we buried in the end
    Was Martin’s boots an gaiters.”

    With this cryptic observation he began his anecdote;
    And, when I sought particulars, he smiled and cleared his throat;
    Then sat him down, and with his brown, rough hands about his knees
    He told it all. And, as he spoke, his beard waved in the breeze.

    “First it was the Grimble Grubs—
    As I sez at startin’—
    Which they et his tater crop,
    Which it troubled Martin.

    “Now, this Martin was a farmer with a scientific mind”—
    (It was thus the bushman started, as his beard blew out behind)—
    “He farmed the land and, understand, his luck was all tip-top,
    Till them there little Grimble Grubs got in his tater crop.

    “P’raps you have heard of Grimble Grubs; more likely p’raps you’ve not;
    When once they taste your taters you can look to lose the lot.
    An’ poor Martin, he was worried till he met a feller who
    Had read a book about the Swook, the which lives in Peru.

    “Now the Swook it is a beetle that inhabits Wuzzle Shrubs,
    An’ it makes a steady diet of the little Grimble Grubs;
    So Martin he imported some, at very great expense,
    An’ turned ’em loose to play the dooce and teach the Grimbles sense.

    “Then he swore by Wuzzle Swooks—
    Friends of cultivators—
    Which they et the Grimble Grubs,
    Which they et his taters.

    “But when the Wuzzle Swooks had et the Grimble Grubs right up,
    Then they had to change their habits for to find a bite an’ sup;
    So they started on his turnips, which was summat to their taste,
    Till Mister Martin’s turnip patch became a howlin’ waste.

    “Then he natural grew peevish, till one afternoon he heard,
    From a feller in the poultry line, about the Guffer Bird
    Which is native of Mauritius and the woods of Tennessee,
    An’ preys upon the Wuzzle Swooks for breakfast, lunch, and tea.

    “So he got some Guffer Birds
    Over from Mauritius,
    Which the same by nature are
    Greedy an’ malicious,
    Which they et the Wuzzle Swooks—
    Plague of cultivators—
    Which they et the Grimble Grubs,
    Which they et his taters.

    “Then Martin swore by Guffer Birds, until one day he found
    They’d et up all the Wuzzle Swooks for miles an’ miles around,
    An’, havin’ still some appetite, an’ bein’ mighty mean,
    They perched upon his apple trees and stripped his orchard clean.

    “Here’s where Martin got excited; he was in an awful funk,
    Until one day he read about the little Warty Swunk,
    Which has his home in Mexico, an’ lives on Guffer Birds;
    An’ Martin, bein’ desperate, imported him in herds.

    “Then he praised the Warty Swunks,
    Beady-eyed and vicious,
    Which they et the Guffer Birds,
    Native of Mauritius,
    Which they et the Wuzzle Swooks—
    Plague of cultivators—
    Which they et the Grimble Grubs,
    Which they et his taters.

    “Now them Swunks were simply wonders, an’ old Martin stopped his growls,
    Till they et up all the Guffer Birds, an’ started on his fowls.
    An’ the riots in his hen-house that occurred near every night
    They robbed him of his beauty sleep an’ turned his whiskers white.

    “He was wearin’ to a shadder, till by accident he seen
    A picture of the Boggle Dog in some old magazine.
    And the same he was notorious for huntin’ Swunks an’ such,
    And for livin’ on their livers which he fancied very much.

    “Now the Boggle Dog of Boffin’s Land is most extremely rare,
    But Martin mortgaged house an’ home just to import a pair.
    They was most feerocious animals; but Martin he was mad;
    An’ he sooled ’em on the Warty Swunks with all the breath he had.

    “Oh, he loved the Boggle Dogs,
    Called ’em ‘Dear’ an’ ‘Darlin’ ‘—
    Fierce, feerocious Boggle Dogs,
    With their savage snarlin’;
    Which they et the Warty Swunks,
    Beady-eyed and vicious,
    Which they et the Guffer Birds,
    Native of Mauritius,
    Which they et the Wuzzle Swooks—
    Plague of cultivators—
    Which they et the Grimble Grubs,
    Which they et his taters.

    “Then Martin he picked up a bit, an’ got his proper sleep,
    Until he found the Boggle Dogs had taken to his sheep;
    For Warty Swunks is hard to catch, and nimble on their feet,
    An’ livers of merino lambs is just as nice to eat.

    “Now, I’m thinkin’ here that Martin must have gone a trifle mad,
    Else he’d never have imported such a creature as the Gnad;
    For the Gnad, though few folks know it, roams about the Boffin bogs
    An’ he has a passin’ fancy for the flesh of Boggle Dogs.

    “But Martin he imported one with his last bit of cash,
    An’ loosed him on the Boggle Dogs—an action worse than rash;
    But the Boggles stayed in hidin’, for the Boggles were discreet,
    And the Gnad he cast his eye around for something he could eat.

    “‘Sool ’em, Towser!’ shouted Martin, dancin’ ‘mid his ravaged crops;
    But the Gnad regarded Martin as he slowly licked his chops.
    An’ the last we seen of Martin, far as I can call to mind,
    He was tearin’ round his paddick with the Gnad just close behind.

    “First it was the Grimble Grubs,
    Which they et his taters,
    Then it was the Wuzzle Swooks—
    Plague of cultivators—
    Then it was the Guffer Birds,
    Native of Mauritius,
    Then it was the Warty Swunks,
    Beady-eyed an’ vicious,
    Then it was the Boggle Dogs,
    With their snarls and snort in’,
    Till the bad voracious Gnad
    Finished his imp or tin’.
    An’ all because the Grimble Grubs
    They got into his taters
    We never found a stitch of him
    But blucher boots and gaiters.”

    Thus the bushman closed his story with a sympathetic sigh;
    Then wrung my hand most heartily, and sadly said “Good-bye.”
    And, as he went, ’twas evident that he was ill at ease:
    He bowed his head, and, as I’ve said, his beard waved in the breeze.

    Reply
  • Muzz Ullah 1 year ago

    Ya know how expensive Tesla stock is?? Gift plz!

    Reply
  • Fred Derf 1 year ago

    Apparently Chicago city Council watched this video and thought “hey, good idea”.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNwmzDlyCt8

    Reply
  • KittySnicker 1 year ago

    LOL those cats got a shit deal

    Reply
  • Kristin J 1 year ago

    Uhm… the cat thing, that’s horrible. They’ll be fed by bleeding hearts, rip each other to shreds, be hit by cars, catch diseases and parasites- I could truly go on and on.

    Reply
  • ryanjannakhuang 1 year ago

    Stephen has a talent for asmr

    Reply
  • JazzAnarchy 1 year ago

    Oh, that’s so cute! Stephen thinks Tik Tok is famous of ASMR videos

    Reply
  • Taber01 1 year ago

    Cats have been used in Europe for hundreds of years, just walk in the old sections of town and the plaza and you will see packs of them all over.

    Reply
  • Klonzo33 1 year ago

    Man I miss when this show was funny.

    Reply
  • 79chgoh 1 year ago

    In some part of the world, there are a group of people call community feeder that will roam the street and feed the street cats

    Reply
  • cmdraftbrn 1 year ago

    oh come on. binford 6100 was right there

    Reply
  • Mary Rose Kent 1 year ago

    Stephen, I love that you included the word kerning!

    Reply
  • moonmoonbirdcpt 1 year ago

    they should get cute cats and kittens like the ones in klaip in #TreeOfSavior because those cute cats will be your friends if you feed them fishes 😀

    Reply
  • shooq 1 year ago

    will u talk about whats going on in Palestine hmmmmm????

    Reply
  • Add E 1 year ago

    Live guests will be nice (Jon Stewart I’m looking at you) but I’m really quite happy with an audience of Evie and Chris the cameraman.

    Reply
  • Taijifufu 1 year ago

    He’s actually got that mic pretty well calibrated for ASMR.

    Reply
  • Angela Doll 1 year ago

    Most sewer rats can beat up a cat. I had to have a rat tooth surgically removed from my cats skull once. I’m all for TVNR programs but cats eat mice, not rats😹

    Reply
  • Anzy 1 year ago

    That’s so stupid. Introduce cats, to kill rats (which most of them don’t do), then when they get rid of the rats, there’ll be a lot of cats on the streets and no one to take care of them. STUPID

    Reply
  • Catherine Saillant 1 year ago

    Is it just me or are the “Meanwhile” intros getting longer and more unbearable? It was cute the first 50 times but now it’s like sitting through the Stations of the Cross before we get to the good stuff. Please ditch the intros, Stephen!

    Reply
  • Richard Wong 1 year ago

    We have two cats and the lazy fat one is the one that catches all the rats, lol

    Reply
  • Cara Howell 1 year ago

    O. M. G. I hate AMSR!!!

    Reply
  • Nettie Malo 1 year ago

    Triscuit dust is a great casserole topper! They are the best crackers by far! 👍

    Reply
  • Scott Baxendale 1 year ago

    When Stephen goes back to live shows he should have Evie sit at the end of the couch just to laugh at his jokes sort of like Ed McMahon.

    Reply
  • ParArdua 1 year ago

    When the rats and mice are in plague populations, after the first couple of days, the cats just allow the vermin to run over them.

    Reply
  • Day 18,300 and counting 1 year ago

    Yet no Iron Maiden, no Judas Priest bands that each have played to more fans over the last 40 years than all those that have made it this year combined. How about Willie Nelson, Foo Fighters, or Jethro Tull. All those bands are offshoots of Rock n Roll.

    Reply
  • Day 18,300 and counting 1 year ago

    As for the cats if they use big cats they could likely solve their crime and rat problem at the same time. Let some panthers, lions and tigers lose streets will be crime free in no time.

    Reply
  • Jen with one N 1 year ago

    Colbert – you are awesome, but you do not grok cats.

    Reply
  • Eduard Thornton 1 year ago

    Cats and Owls work great to be rid of rodents.

    You don’t see any cats or else at Mar-a-Lago do you? 🤣

    Reply
  • Abby Cal 1 year ago

    Petition to have Stephen start doing ASMR.

    Reply
  • Fauler Perfektionist 1 year ago

    “South Korean couples are wooing each other with Tesla stocks.”
    🤔 Those South Koreans have a _very_ different idea of romance.

    Reply
  • Doug Chesterfield 1 year ago

    They could just hang pics of Mayor Beetle Juice in the sewers to scare them all away. If you need something stronger have her posing with Hillary for a double dose.

    Reply
  • oc3 1 year ago

    Soooo, are they going to bring in dogs to get rid of all the stray cats? FYI, cats have litters of kittens, so they’ll have a sh*t ton of cats running around 😟

    Reply
  • V. BPD 1 year ago

    Say it isn’t so, 1000 feral cats put out to help a rat problem? Does no one in Chicago govt know how hard, how much suffering is involved on the part of feral cats? In addition to which, they don’t go after rats; they are in danger from rats: rats prey on hungry, thirsty, exhausted and frightened cats. feral cats seldom even go after birds, despite what birders contend, the basis of their irrational, also unfounded prejudice against feral cats when it is domestic companion cats allowed out without a bell on a collar who go after birds as sport bc they are well and fed and able to play? Why ask defenseless animals to solve a problem caused by humans? Who improperly dispose of trash, food waste? How about restaurants? How about going the San Francisco route of educating and empowering all residents to compost? Help reduce the planet’s methane by responsible separation of food waste from inorganic, recyclable trash? This is an extraordinary and heartbreaking piece of news.

    Reply
  • Noah Abraham 1 year ago

    I would rather get a stock option then ant gift

    Reply
  • hansonel 1 year ago

    The Windy City? Not anymore, it’s the The Kitty City now

    Reply
  • AdMerin 1 year ago

    The Chicago rats can go to Gary. Not like millions of dirty rodents could make that city worse.

    Reply
  • Matt Bridges 1 year ago

    had summa that stew last night.

    Reply
  • NORTON S 1 year ago

    Who will save these cats from the Chicago Winter? Cats are equatorial creatures – these are NOT Polar Cats. Anyone from Northern Illinois bothered by this?

    Reply
  • sashablueperson 1 year ago

    There seems to be an inexplicable dislike of cats from Mr. Colbert.

    Reply
  • lulu in hollywood 1 year ago

    I treat listening to the opening to your meanwhile segments like a fun brain exercise 😝

    Reply
  • godofdun 1 year ago

    Has he said anything on Isreal/Palestinians this week?

    Reply
  • RIXRADvidz 1 year ago

    The Very Idea that Carole King Was NOT one of the FIRST inductees into the ‘Rock and Roll Hall of Fame’ screams volumes of the misogyny that STILL Reigns in the Music Industry. Carole King provided the record companies with some of their greatest hits she never performed until way later in her career. Carole King GODDESS MOTHER OF ROCK MUSIC.

    Reply
  • David Domanski 1 year ago

    I want to hear Evie’s laugh every day.

    Reply
  • Nathan Gibson 1 year ago

    3:53 TURN YOUR SPEAKERS DOWN

    Reply
  • Nick Barber 1 year ago

    Who gets rid of the cats?

    Reply
  • Sherry Hesner 1 year ago

    CATLOVE4EVER!!! 😍

    Reply
  • lpmw12 1 year ago

    😏Ooohhh man! This “Quarantinewhile” sucked this time around. Ther usually really good… idk what happened

    Reply
  • Lynn St Laurent 1 year ago

    Based on the amount of dead mice and moles I found in my backyard a pack of cairn terriers might be more effective albeit more expensive and stubborn.

    Reply
  • Colonel Kurtz 1 year ago

    I hate meeses to pieces!
    JINX the cat.

    Reply
  • Cop Drama 1 year ago

    LL Cool J is not rock and the R&R hall of fame is a joke. Absolute garbage.

    Reply
  • Sharon B 1 year ago

    If they want real rodent control, snakes are unsurpassed at it.

    Reply
  • Nunna Beeznes 1 year ago

    Surprise, there’s probably some law about price manipulation tesla broke by offering the gift cards

    Reply
  • Nick Barber 1 year ago

    Stephen, can you please send me the recipe for your quarantinewhile?

    Reply
  • Caith Donovan 1 year ago

    ‘nutritionally deficient college hangover cure…’

    Reply
  • Mark Bendig 1 year ago

    How about Evie as co-host or Ed McMahon character, at least for a while? Please?

    Reply
  • Sage2000 1 year ago

    Chicago just abandoned 1000 cats to starve, is that it??? WTF USA??

    Reply
  • Michael Teret 1 year ago

    What?! No Warren Zevon.

    Reply
  • Rebel Alliance 1 year ago

    in ancient Egypt cats were trained to kill trespassers in the royal palace

    Reply
  • Romola Hodas 1 year ago

    The day doesn’t end well until I get cozy into bed with my puppy and enjoy this man….Love you Stephen Colbert!

    Reply
  • Gary Cooper 1 year ago

    Wait, how could Tina Turner and Carole King not have been in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame until now? 🤦‍♂️

    Reply
  • K Perdue 1 year ago

    SOOO CRINGY …. EWW

    Reply
  • Psiberzerker 1 year ago

    Next, they’ll spay, and neuter the stray dogs to deal with the feral cat problem…

    IDKY she swallowed the fly…

    Perhaps she’ll die?

    Reply
  • Gary Cooper 1 year ago

    While I’m wondering things, how could there not have been feral cats in Chicago until now?

    Reply
  • Ava Masquerade 1 year ago

    Oh, it’ll be fine cause you’ll cut off the cat’s balls, right?
    The great philosopher Jeff Goldblum: “Well…uh..life.. *burp* …life, uh… finds a way….”

    Reply
  • Miriam Bucholtz 1 year ago

    I wish those feral cats luck with those rats. We lived out in the country in NJ when I was a little girl and had rats in the house. My father brought home a cat, put it down the cellar, and the rats beat the snot out of the poor thing. He became a house pet who never went near the cellar again. The cat I have now murders spiders, but that’s about it.

    Reply
  • 888 Divisoria 1 year ago

    No mention of genocide of Palestinians? I am disappointed. I had been an avid fan of yours for 5years

    Reply
  • Trent Reimer 1 year ago

    Was not expecting to hear a put-down against an Asian culture in the monologue, but apparently liking different gifts than the white man is considered laughable.

    Reply
  • Blake Estes 1 year ago

    Graphic designer: Kerning! He said kerning!

    Reply
  • Carl Wilkerson 1 year ago

    “Cats At Work” should have been called “Cats Living And Working.” A more positive title for the work-release animal shelter program, and a better acronym.

    Reply
  • Marguerite Hudsell 1 year ago

    Tiff? Tiff? Video won’t download. Must be contraband or subversive material. I never would have guessed it.

    Reply
  • Arthur Banda 1 year ago

    crrriiiinngeee…wow colbert.. when you used to be funny.. SHAME ZZZZzzzzz

    Reply
  • Henry Tjernlund 1 year ago

    Cats are among the most successful hunters.

    Reply
  • Michael Rossa 1 year ago

    them cats are great. i had a pair when i lived in chicago. its mostly wealthy hoods

    Reply
  • momcatwoo 1 year ago

    ASMR! ❤️

    Reply
  • jefferee2002 1 year ago

    Stephen, didn’t you get the memo? You’re apparently the only person still in quarantine

    Reply
  • Justin biddy 1 year ago

    Cats get rid of rats?

    Reply

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