Lunch With Stephen (4 of 5)

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Published on July 23, 2015

Instead of eating lunch at your desk alone, eat lunch at your desk alone with Stephen.

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99 comments

  • The Silent Gamer 3 years ago

    But..But I can’t leave my precious chips! I don’t trust that you won’t not
    eat my chips Colbert…

    Reply
  • TELESYNC 3 years ago

    fake moutsach

    Reply
  • Timothy23P 3 years ago

    Stephen, I gave you that 10,000 dollars to fund your illegal duck fighting
    ring, remember? You thought it was going to be cartoon ducks boxing.

    Reply
  • Becky R 3 years ago

    Thanks for the laugh, Stephen! You look good with the eye patch. Have you
    ever considered playing a pirate like Johnny Depp?

    Reply
  • Tokugawa Heavy Industries 3 years ago

    What am I gonna do in Iceland? Do they even have chips in Iceland?

    Reply
  • Jackson Ketner 3 years ago

    I’m number six. 

    Reply
  • Zeus Agire 3 years ago

    There must be something at that storage locker

    Reply
  • Nraged Chinchilla 3 years ago

    is this all an elaborate scheme to get my chips?

    Reply
  • Mantikia 3 years ago

    I never knew having lunch with Steven would lead me to this, but I won’t
    let him down 

    Reply
  • kght222 3 years ago

    no, those chips are mine, burn in hell comrade.

    Reply
  • R3GARnator 3 years ago

    I had to stop watching! Where did Stephen go??? R.I.P. Stephen, may you
    find peace, and chips, in the beyond.

    Reply
  • Impending Broom 3 years ago

    “Ha ha! Cookies on dowels.”

    Reply
  • Shark Slayer 3 years ago

    Like hell I am gonna give you my chips and how do I know you won’t skip
    town without me and steal my money?

    

    Reply
  • Free Thinker 3 years ago

    Merica

    Reply
  • Nova Counseling 3 years ago

    “Sweet Darkness cover me” is my new drinking toast.

    Reply
  • Theo0x89 3 years ago

    Achtung! Guten Tag, Fräulein! Der ??? gehört auf dem Tisch.

    EDIT: “Achtung! Guten Tag, Fräulein! Die Lampe gehört auf dem Tisch.” The
    grammar error (it should be “den Tisch”) is coincidentally the same error
    Google Translate makes when translating “The lamp belongs on the table.”

    Reply
  • Al Iasb Waled 3 years ago

    godammit at least let me enjoy the chips stephen

    Reply
  • adhh xgxhhg 3 years ago

    “awww, here it goes!”

    Reply
  • R2_G4 3 years ago

    I hope we get to hear some of the best messages that were left from the
    last video.

    Reply
  • Sixth Jayhawk 3 years ago

    I don’t think I’ll be having lunch with Stephen anymore after this…

    Reply
  • Wily Werewolf 3 years ago

    low views number for this series means either folks are too scared to get
    involved or they just can’t get their funny bone hard

    Reply
  • Nic Hearl 3 years ago

    This series has a better plot than avengers 2

    Reply
  • Billy Bevan 3 years ago

    Oooh, this is getting tense.

    Reply
  • Artyom Ionov 3 years ago

    Holy crap! My first name sounds a lot like that first German word he said
    in the video (or whatever that was). That freaked my the fuck out, it’s
    like Stephen addressed me!

    Reply
  • Thelordbobert 3 years ago

    What have I gotten myself into…

    Reply
  • hall9111 3 years ago

    “Sit down. Not there! There! There! Not there! There! Ha ha… there.”

    Reply
  • Rad Penny 3 years ago

    You’re not getting a single one of my goddamn chips, you bastard.

    Reply
  • Steveazencho 3 years ago

    Wish these were longer 

    Reply
  • len got 3 years ago

    yes funny , but what r u doing to save america from traitor religious nuts
    ???

    Reply
  • MrStensnask 3 years ago

    In the end he’s gonna reveal that it was all about getting the chips

    Reply
  • Chris Robinson 3 years ago

    My wife will notice if $10,000 is missing! Look, Stephen, it’s time we call
    Shy Frank. Yes, he’s shy, but he once killed a guy over a Filet-O-Fish.

    Reply
  • Kory Peterson 3 years ago

    Shout out to Phil Ken Sebben! “Ha ha! Surprise twist!”

    Reply
  • Dataiconroy 3 years ago

    On my way to JFK…

    Reply
  • Constance Mather 3 years ago

    At this point, I’d have a serious conversation with HR about moving my
    cubicle.

    Reply
  • Merna Ibrahim 3 years ago

    now THAT is what i call character development 

    Reply
  • tr11251 3 years ago

    Someone is going to open that locker and the real Stephen’s mummified
    corpse will be inside.

    Reply
  • JoAnna Wheaton 3 years ago

    I feel like this is just an elaborate scheme to get my chips. Leave me
    alone, Phteven!

    Reply
  • Jack Grattan 3 years ago

    The fractured German and the bad moustache evoke Gregory Peck as Dr. Joseph
    Mengale in THE BOYS FROM BRAZIL. Is this another “Hitler’s clone” plot
    device?

    Reply
  • SketchyKev 3 years ago

    You can’t have my goddamn chips!

    Reply
  • Koerschgen 893 3 years ago

    well… i’m german and i don’t know what he’s trying to say. sounds like
    “Achtung! Guten Tag Fräulein, der Lappen gehört auf den Tisch!” (Attention!
    Hello Miss, the rag belongs on the table!) Makes no sense, but maybe that’s
    the point… :D

    Reply
  • Lori Farrell 3 years ago

    Stephen, I didn’t mind you visiting me every night for a late night comedy
    call, but now it’s gotten out of hand . you can have the chips, but no more
    dips!

    Reply
  • kanundrum 3 years ago

    So who is going to the storage locker at JFK ?

    Reply
  • Not Hannah Simone 3 years ago

    Each lunch webisode keeps getting shorter.

    Reply
  • Woozlewuzzleable 3 years ago

    I love you Stephen.

    Reply
  • George B. McClellan 3 years ago

    I feel like all these locations and numbers mean something but I have no
    car

    Reply
  • ashleyismynameUK 3 years ago

    Phil Ken Sebben returns!!!

    Reply
  • Neal X 3 years ago

    You just know at least one guy’s going to go to JFK and check to see if
    there’s a storage locker with that number and break into it if there is.

    Reply
  • lmiddleman 3 years ago

    Beep Blinks Hen

    Reply
  • weird4productions 3 years ago

    The vending machine didn’t have any chips so no I can’t give you any. Want
    Skittles instead?

    Reply
  • Vincent Is Valentine 3 years ago

    Forget Trump…

    #COLBERT2016

    Reply
  • That Guy on the Right 3 years ago

    Yes, I checked. There’s actually something in the locker.

    Reply
  • MariusIoannesP 3 years ago

    I tried to call you at the number you have me yesterday but I couldn’t
    leave a message!

    Reply
  • OneNewHope 3 years ago

    These are just getting shorter and shorter…

    Reply
  • Adam A. Afif 3 years ago

    Thanks for dragging me into this Stephen …
    

    Reply
  • Rene Acevedo 3 years ago

    So my guess is this is a giveaway, and if you go to JFK airport, there
    should be something sitting in that locker right now. Possibly, tickets to
    see the premeire of Stephens Late Night Show, or an elaborate way to get us
    to pay for his potatoe chips. JFK is too far from me to reach in time, so
    if anyone does find anything, please let us know.

    Reply
  • Jon Feist 3 years ago

    I think Harmonica Lou probably only looks happy due to his lack of lips.

    Reply
  • Equal Charlie 3 years ago

    So….who’s going down to JFK in order too check:

    A: if that locker exists
    B: if you can rent it.
    C. pull 10 grand in monopoly money in it and see what happenes.

    Reply
  • Jack SS (JackSSVEVO) 3 years ago

    Phil Ken Sebben..?
    

    Reply
  • demonhunterC 3 years ago

    the next one should be a choose your own adventure with a cliffhanger
    ending and two links to two different endings depending on what you decide
    to do.

    Reply
  • naughts'an Kcrosses 3 years ago

    hahaha

    Reply
  • SelfAwarePedant 3 years ago

    Stephen, you have to be careful with these sketches. If you die in improv,
    you die in real life.

    Reply
  • sitearm 3 years ago

    Harvey Keitel: *What* did you do to and *where* did you put Stephen Colbert
    lol

    Reply
  • Colin Watson 3 years ago

    I’m starting to think this is all a ploy for my chips. Buy your own,
    Stephen.

    Reply
  • Eddie Mendez 3 years ago

    I thoroughly enjoyed your political satire on The Colbert Show but, I feel
    this new career will be unfruitful. I am willing to bet all my money in my
    measly checking account. You were a source of news, at the Colbert Report,
    as well as humor. You did shine the light of your injustice on issues but
    you lacked cajones to make a stance on these issues with the exception of
    migrant field workers (Kudos). John Oliver is hosting the quintessential
    satirical news show and has picked up your old viewers, fans of the
    character Stephen Colbert, these like I are going to be watching Last Week
    Tonight Instead of The Late Show. You are the hero we deserve not the hero
    we need; inadvertently, you either die a hero or live long enough to see
    yourself become a villain. Sincerely an unemployed undergraduate.

    Reply
  • bobolob 3 years ago

    Harmonica Lou is a saint!

    Reply
  • ImLoaf 3 years ago

    Shit Stephen, if you didn’t take that eye-patch off I wouldn’t have know if
    it was you. Good thing I can trust you.

    Reply
  • Distracted Observer 3 years ago

    Well that escalated quickly…

    Reply
  • Sean Davison 3 years ago

    okay, who’s gunna be the first one to call their bluff and check to see if
    there is a storage locker 687 at JFK airport?

    Reply
  • Greg Bowes 3 years ago

    You want these chips? Well then I have one question for you. Do you suck
    dick??

    Reply
  • Shaymuss 3 years ago

    I don’t know Stephen, I really want to eat these chips…

    Reply
  • TheDarknessShows 3 years ago

    I CAN’T DO IT.

    The chips are too important.

    Reply
  • Amin Gulamali 3 years ago

    Same shirt for the third day Stephen?!? Your letting this get the best of
    you. 

    Reply
  • TheeMysteryHour 3 years ago

    Phil Ken Sebben! You’re back! I thought you were dead!

    Ha Ha!

    Reply
  • TheKijib 3 years ago

    why do i keep packing the same food for lunch?

    Reply
  • Kisai 3 years ago

    Oh my god. He looks like he could be on Fox.

    Reply
  • Big Bird 3 years ago

    I’ve be been eating brunch with you because I’m in a different time zone
    than you.

    Reply
  • Jack Stickman 3 years ago

    It’s good to see Colbert reprising his role as Phil Ken Sebben after all
    these years.

    Reply
  • Yuri Nate 3 years ago

    I don’t know why… but you look like Conan Obrien with that mustache and
    patch

    Reply
  • Suq Madiq 3 years ago

    Hey Stephen, I hope you get Bill Cosby as a guest on your show… I really
    enjoy his Rapist Wit…

    Reply
  • E vilo 3 years ago

    Those are my chips Stephen. :(

    Reply
  • sirkowski 3 years ago

    Did you get that thing I sent you?

    Reply
  • Hercules Rockefeller 3 years ago

    Palin/Colbert 2017

    Reply
  • Jennifer Boykin (ColbertsLassNC) 3 years ago

    So yesterday when we were able to leave a message, I MIGHT have suggested
    he contact an attorney about his issue… and MAY OR MAY NOT have suggested
    he call Harvey… Birdman… so it looks like he dressed appropriately for
    his appointment today as Phil Ken Sebben…

    Hahaha – ‘chips’ on dowels!!! #longliveHarveyBirdmanAttorneyAtLaw

    Reply
  • Adam A. Afif 3 years ago

    Please New Yorkers, someone go to jfk and put 10,000$ note in that locker 

    Reply
  • Eowyndra 3 years ago

    Well that escalated quickly….

    Reply
  • Buzzing Sign Diner 3 years ago

    >:T Damn right you’re paying for my ticket because of this mess.

    Reply
  • TurboRadDude 3 years ago

    Steven, I want these chips. You cannot have them

    Reply
  • Fedor Sakharov 3 years ago

    This is a so so stupid version of Gemini Division. I’m kinda lost for
    words. I expect better, Stephen. You can do it.

    Reply
  • kinestasis 3 years ago

    The only thing truly shocking is the sentiment that I’d have $10,000 in my
    bank account

    Reply
  • Jonathan Buck 3 years ago

    “Oh, sweet darkness cover me.” …the man is brilliant.

    Reply
  • Matthew Carrasco 3 years ago

    Did anyone go down to JFK after this video!?

    Reply
  • Logan Simar (Omnomniscient) 3 years ago

    Harmonica Lou?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    Reply
  • The_Imperious_Admrial 3 years ago

    I WILL NOT LEAVE YOU MY CHIPS

    Reply
  • The_Imperious_Admrial 3 years ago

    I WILL NOT LEAVE YOU MY CHIPS

    Reply
  • Shay Mary (Loky) 3 years ago

    Colbert SERIOUSLY needs a big hug right now! :|

    Reply
  • ColdSpark824 3 years ago

    Sweet phil ken sebben reference!

    Reply
  • hyunguk choi 3 years ago

    Nazis are good people they only tried to kill good people. Whqt!##

    Reply
  • Twunga 3 years ago

    BIRDMAN GET IN HERE!

    Reply
  • funguide1 3 years ago

    Tht mustache looks so fake. lol

    Reply

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