John Oliver helps you revise the New Year’s resolutions you’ve already failed to keep.
New Year resolutions aren’t that hard. I’ve kept them all for the last 10 years at least.
1. do not commit genocide on a continental scale 2. do no invent time travel to gut punch a T-Rex (although I’m close) 3. survive another year to make the same New Years resolutions
Feb 14 is an eternity from now!
Jan 3rd is my birthday :D
My favourite new year’s resolution is this: To break my new year’s resolution. That way, if there are no other resolutions you create an infinite loop because by breaking the resolution you’re keeping it and by keeping it you’re breaking it.
My New Years resolution is unfortunately 1280×1024
Wait, if this is a web exclusive, and the show is on hiatus, why is there and audience?
C U R R E N T Y E A R U R R E N
Açaí is a brazilian fruit. I am from brazil and the right prononciation is “AH-SIGH-E”
February the 14th. The perfect end to a Valentines Day date
if you want to be scientific about it, make your resolutions in early summer, rather than the dead of winter. something something winter cold hard cruel sad, and summer is not, chances of success increase. yes very scientific I know. I’m a fucking penguin what do you want.
Where does this studio audience come from!?
Can you do an episode on human trafficking? It’s largely an unknown problem in the US which is terrible considering how much of it happens in larger cities in our nation. It’s a problem I do not see a solution to despite long hours mulling over the problem.
If you do consider this or even end up making the segment, I cannot thank you enough. This is one of the most critical problems in the modern world that had gone unsolved.
Feb 14th? Ugh.
Whew I couldn’t wait another month
February!! I can’t survive that long! At least on feb 14th I’ll have a reason to smile:) ps someone please please explain the ‘tail joke’ I didn’t get it
It is pronounced Ah-Sigh-Eee
As a college student, I did in fact get something done for my new years resolution. I’ve upgraded my sleeping standards from a couch that I have to sleep sideways on because there simply isn’t enough room to lay flat, to a stow-away guest bed!
I love failing
IT’S THE CURRENT YEAR!
Uhm… I like this show and all… but these little videos released in the middle of hiatus… where do they get the clapping mass of people for these? Replay from record?
Four famous people I’d say hi to if ever saw: Jon Stewart Dave Chappelle John Oliver Angelina Jolie ❤️
açaí is awesome.
I can’t look into John Oliver’s eyes. It’s like he knows all my secrets. And he is judging me… Judging so harshly
My resolution was to stop making resolutions and still going strong.
My birthday present! :D
I was so excited to see a John Oliver video!!!
Does he get an audience just for these short vids, or are they sound effects? Always bugs me
My New Years revaluation was to chug something
And I made that revaluation in the last 5 seconds of 2015
I don’t have a new year’s resolution but if I do it would be to instigate a nuclear holocaust where you can launch more nukes than the current available global stockpile that way I really wont be disappointed when it doesnt happen cause if it does then all is good
cant fail your resolutions if you didn’t make any.
I dont have any resolutions…
C U R R E N T Y E A R U R R E N T Y E A R
I am still suprissed that they make Muppert so realistic as John Oliver. +1000 for the makers of this puppet.
I am still suprissed that they make Muppets so realistic as John Oliver. +1000 for the makers of this puppet.
February 14th? FEBRUARY 14TH!?! You have a god damn job John! Granted, it’s a once a week show so the concept of working is probably still foreign to you… but still. We want you back, man!
so we’re getting you back on a St. V’s day – now that’s a present!
FUCK YOU JON OLIVIER
I love you Jon Oliver
You got me! I totally bought a crockpot thinking I would start using it to cook healthy foods. I’m failing miserably!
Is it not ironic that Actors/Actresses that have won an *E* mmy a *G* rammy and an *O* scar do infact have massive EGO’s?
February 14th isnt soon enough John. Bill Mahr is off too, so Sunday is the shit they show on fox, you’re better then their entire line up combined.
My new year’s resolution is that John not go on hiatus again.
He’s taught us A LOT. But this kind of humor just irritates me. I notice it when the video’s content is just jokes.
I know how to pronounce açaí, get on my level scrubs.
feb 18th is my birthday so ill wait to watch the next stuff till my birthday
perfect way to spend my birthday watch an english silly person
Hope you get blown up by muslims John
who else is brazilian and knows how to pronounce açaí? (it’s like “assaí”)
as a Brazilian, the joke about Açai made no sense at all hehe fyi, try pronouncing something like “ah! sah! ee!!!!” :)
Ah-sah-ee, John! Not that hard!
it’s pronounced esī (açaí)
Is that. Laugh track?
Do a report on care facilities for those with mental conditions. Some of those places are truly abominable, but there’s very little regulation on them. That needs to change.
February 14……!? That’s too long Oliver.
if the *”C”* has a little snake under it, its pronounced *”SS”*, so the name of the fruit is, *”Assahee”*…. 😛
there u go, a free Portuguese class for everybody…. xD
Açaí : Ass ay
2:50 why are you so mean to leo
Is that canned laughter? It sure sounds like it.
the proper way to pronounce açai (if you speak english) would be something like this “ahssah ee” (put it on google translator an hit the speaker button). You’re welcome ;)
0:56 when he said “All hope is no lost” I laughed my ass off
No resolutions, no failures.
Well that was great advice >.> thanks dad.
I’ve made zero resolutions! 100% success rate!
I’m suddenly so determined to win an EGOK
it’s pronounced ass-ah-EE
Wait. Does he just get a whole audience in the studio just so he can film a 3 minute web exclusive segment?
Ass I E
I know someone who certainly doesn’t give a fuck about her resolutions.
I made a resolution once to stop eating candy and sugary drinks. That was last years resolution and I have now gone down from using XXL shirts to XL shirts. My waistline has gone from a 46 down to 38 and I can even fit one of my old rings, that used to only fit my pinky, on my actual ring finger.
well, I gave up on New Years Resolution to avoid the disappointment altogether and be a bit happier when other people fail and I get to tell them “I told you so.”
I am a very cynical person. I should probably work on that…
I resolve to make a resolution next year. Then, I can make the same resolution next year, and perpetually win this little game.
IT’S TWENTY-SIXTEEN RIGHT NOW!
My new years resolution is not to suck. Doing good so far.
Who’s laughing at your jokes?
I resolve to drink less, but to use higher quality booze.
I dont do resolutions
WE MISS YOU JOHN! GET BACK STAT, ASAP!
I resolved not to make any resolutions. … … DAMMIT!
I thought he died… tbh.
John Oliver, I mean COME ON IT’S 2016. Time for you to give up your post to a strong black lesbian woman. Come on people, after all IT’S THE CURRENT YEAR.
Hey Johny good to have you back, next time give us some nice 4k resolution will ya. good tie choice BTW.
My New Year’s resolution was to throw up on New Year’s Day. Mission accomplished!
Thank God, John Oliver is back, he has a lot of catching up to do
my 2016 resolution is to win July’s heart.
Yawn. A rare miss for John. But still excited for new episodes in 2016.
My New Year resolution is to have a laugh track always available so when I have a half witty joke, it will seem funny when play the canned laughter.
didn’t secretariat win the EGOK?
This is the funniest most sarcastic dude ive come across on youtube.
The T in EGOT matters!
It put the lotion in the basket
I think this guy looks like a f**king rabbit
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