When ‘Mary Poppins Returns’ star Emily Mortimer wasn’t a fan of her boyfriend’s mustache, she waited until he fell asleep and took matters into her own hands.
Trump has a boyfriend with a moustache….
Trumpenstein’s Monster (aka The Making of John Bolton)
He worked through the day and the night To find the man who would be right For National Security He needed complete surety But alas there was no-one in sight
Then he thought “wait, I know construction! And with some spare parts (and abduction) I’ll make one who distracts With illegal war acts So I can be cleared of obstruction”
His creation (a Bolton) his neck Was secured to keep his head in check Then with buckles and belts Binding old human pelts The creature sat up and said “Heck!”
But Trump soothed the beast saying “don’t fret I have not finished with you quite yet Although some bits are missing (Like the part that’s for pissing) Look I’ve got one right here, though it’s wet”
So then Trumpenstein quickly started to fashion A system of pulleys to help him to lash on The assembly stage by stage Strapping on the appendage Saying “It will help first to get this moustache on
For it will give me somewhere to grip While I ram this thing into your hip” Then Bolton said “to adhere You can grab onto each ear I can bear it, I’ll just bite my lip”
Then with surgical keyhole precision Trumpenstein made his final incision And as he entered the beast Then came with passion released His shuddering climactic decision
For Bolton, he was surely the man Who would do everything that he can To keep Trump satisfied With him deeply inside Consummately fulfilling his plan
Thanks again to Double Don Tinder (of Double Don Tinder’s Double Entendres) for supplying the double entendres.
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