Ben Schwartz’ Rejected Jokes Binder | Literally! with Rob Lowe

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Published on April 13, 2022

Ben Schwartz reads a few rejected jokes he wrote for the “Late Show with David Letterman.” Hear more from this episode of “Literally! with Rob Lowe” @ https://link.chtbl.com/SchwartzRejectedJokes

ABOUT LITERALLY! WITH ROB LOWE
With his long and diverse career in Hollywood, there isn’t much Rob Lowe hasn’t seen, and there are very few people he doesn’t know. Literally! is the podcast where the stars and the stories come together. It’s a deep dive of the fun, crazy stuff that happens behind the scenes (with Rob asking the questions nobody else will). Watch highlights with guests like Keegan-Michael Key, Gwenyth Paltrow, Magic Johnson and more.

ABOUT TEAM COCO
Team Coco is the YouTube home for all things Conan O’Brien and the Team Coco Podcast Network. Team Coco features over 25 years of comedy sketches, celebrity interviews and stand-up comedy sets from CONAN on TBS and Late Night with Conan O’Brien, as well as exclusive videos from podcasts like Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend,
Literally! with Rob Lowe, Why Won’t You Date Me? with Nicole Byer, The Three Questions with Andy Richter, May I Elaborate? with JB Smoove and Scam Goddess with Laci Mosley.

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13 comments

  • سوسن 6 months ago

    ارحمو من في الارض يرحمكم من في السما.يا ناس يا امة محمد صارت قلوبكم بلا ﺭﺣﻤﻪ ﻭﻻ ﺷﻔﻘﻪ ﻭﻻ ﺃﻧﺴﺎﻧﻴﻪ ﻛﻢ ﺷﻜﻴﺖ ﻭﻛﻢ ﺑﻜﻴﺖ ﻛﻢ ﻧﺎﺩﻳﺖ ﻭﻛﻢ ﻧﺎﺷﺪﺕ ﻭﻟﻜﻦ ﻻ ﺣﻴﺎﺓ ﻟﻤﻦ ﺗﻨﺎﺩﻱ ﻫﻞ ﻳﺮﺿﻴﻜﻢ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺧﻮﺍﻧﻲ ﻳﺒﻜﻮﻥ ﻭﻳﻤﻮﺗﻮﻥ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﺠﻮﻉ ﻭﺃﻧﺘﻢ ﻣﻮﺟﻮﺩﻭﻥ ﻳﻌﻠﻢ ﺍﻟﻠﻪ ﺍﻟﻌﻠﻲ ﺍﻟﻌﻈﻴﻢ ﺃﻧﻨﺎ ﻻ ﻧﻤﻠﻚ ﺣﺘﻰ ﻗﻴﻤﺔ ﻛﻴﻠﻮ ﺩﻗﻴﻖ ﺃﺑﻲ ﻣﺘﻮﻓﻲ ﻭﺃﺧﻮﺍﻧﻲ ﺻﻐﺎﺭ ﻟﻴﺲ ﻟﻨﺎ ﺃﺣﺪ ﺃﻗﺴﻢ ﺑﺎﻟﻠﻪ ﺍﻟﻌﻈﻴﻢ ﺃﻧﻬﻢ ﻧﺎﻣﻮﺍ ﺃﻣﺲ ﺟﻮﻋﺎﻧﻴﻦ ﻭﻫﻢ ﻳﺒﻜﻮﻥ ﻭﺍﻟﺪﻣﻮﻉ ﺟﻔﺖ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﺒﻜﺎﺀ ﻳﺎﺃﻫﻞ ﺍﻟﺨﻴﺮ ﻫﻞ ﻳﺮﺿﻴﻜﻢ ﺃﻧﻨﺎ ﻣﻦ ﺃﻣﺲ ﻟﺤﺪ ﺍﻵﻥ ﺑﺪﻭﻥ ﺃﻛﻞ ﻳﺎﺃﺧﻮﺓ ﺍﻹﺳﻼﻡ ﻧﺤﻦ ﺃﺳﺮﻩ ﺃﻳﺘﺎﻡ ﻭﻧﺎﺯﺣﻴﻦ ﻭﻣﺸﺮﺩﻳﻦ مستأجرين بيت الشهر ب 14 الف رياال والان صارت علينا 56 الف ايجار اربعه شهور وصاحب البيت كل ساعه يجي يبهدلنا ويهددنا بالطرد واحنا لا نتملك قوت يومنا نزحنا من بيوتنا بسبب الحرب وعايشين اناوامي واخوتي سغار والدنا متوفي الله يرحمه ومامعنا أحد في هذا الدنيا يقف جاانبنا في هذه الظروف القاسيه ﺃﺭﺟﻮﻭﻛﻢ ﺳﺎﻋﺪﻭﻧﺎ ﻭﻓﺮﺣﻮﻧﺎ ﺃﺭﺟﻮﻛﻢ ﺃﻭﻗﻔﻮﺍ ﻣﻌﻨﺎ ﻭﺍﻟﻠﻪ ﺍﻟﻌﻈﻴﻢ ﺃﻧﻨﺎ ﺑﺄﻣﺲ ﺍﻟﺤﺎﺟﻪ انابنت عيني بصيره ويدي قصيره ليس لي أب مثلكم واخواني سغار شوف كيف حالتهم وساعدنا وأنقذنا قبل أن يطردونا في الشارع نتبهدل أو نموت من الجوع أنا اقسم بالله الذي رفع سبع سموات بلاعمدوبسط الارض ومهدها اني لااكذب عليكم بحرف من هذا الرساله واني ماطلبتكم إلا من ضيق ومن قسوة الضروف والحال الذي احنافيه وانا واسرتي نسـﺄﻟﻜﻢ ﺑﺎﻟﻠﻪ ﻳﺎﺃﻫﻞ ﺍﻟﺨﻴﺮ ﺍﻟﻲ ﻋﻨﺪﻩ ﺍﻟﻘﺪﺭﻩ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻣﺴﺎﻋﺪﺗﻨﺎ لايتاخر علينا للحظة هذا رقمي واتساب 00967736262719 اللي يستطيع يساعدنا يراسلني واتساب الله يجزيكم خير..ح

    Reply
  • Vraj Shah 6 months ago

    Schwartz? More like Shh Warts.

    Reply
  • Brock Traffie 6 months ago

    hello

    Reply
  • GodLikesSnacks 6 months ago

    Ben should read his whole binder of jokes in a podcast!

    Reply
  • Hammerbeam 6 months ago

    Ben Schwartz is my all time favorite actor and comedian. I would love to meet him

    Reply
  • ChazMichaelMike 6 months ago

    Ive been subscribed to Team Coco for years, and stumbled on this podcast. Good stuff.

    Reply
  • KathernStanley 6 months ago

    I am making $162/hour telecommuting. I never imagined that it was honest to goodness yet my closest companion is earning $21 thousand a month by working on the web, that was truly shocking for me, she prescribed me to attempt it simply ,
    COPY AND OPEN THIS SITE ……>> W­­w­­w­.c­a­s­h­a­p­p­1­.­C­o­m

    Reply
  • Lily 6 months ago

    I am making $162/hour telecommuting. I never imagined that it was honest to goodness yet my closest companion is earning $21 thousand a month by working on the web, that was truly shocking for me, she prescribed me to attempt it simply ,
    COPY AND OPEN THIS SITE ……>>

    Reply
  • jennifer 6 months ago

    𝐈 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 $𝟏𝟐,𝟎𝟎𝟎 𝐚 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞. 𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐣𝐨𝐛𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞, 𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐈 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝟏𝟏 𝐭𝐨 𝟏𝟐 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐚 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞. 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐳𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐲 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐈 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐭… 🙂 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐊.:)

    𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄====)> 𝐰𝐰𝐰.𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬𝐟𝐮𝐥.𝐜𝐨𝐦

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  • jixig 6 months ago

    𝐈 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 $𝟏𝟐,𝟎𝟎𝟎 𝐚 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞. 𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐣𝐨𝐛𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞, 𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐈 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝟏𝟏 𝐭𝐨 𝟏𝟐 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐚 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞. 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐳𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐲 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐈 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐭…𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐊..
    🙂 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐊.:) 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄====)> 𝐖𝐰𝐰.𝐇𝐨𝐦𝐳𝐣𝐨𝐛.𝐂𝐨𝐦

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  • Jennifer 6 months ago

    𝐈𝐦 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 $𝟏𝟑𝐤 𝐚 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐡 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞. 𝐈 𝐤𝐞𝐩𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐈 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐭. 𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐥, 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞. 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐝𝐨. 🙂 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐊.:)

    𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄====)> 𝐰𝐰𝐰.𝐡𝐦𝐣𝐨𝐛𝐳.𝐜𝐨𝐦

    Reply
  • sodake481 6 months ago

    𝐈𝐦 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 $𝟏𝟑𝐤 𝐚 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐡 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞. 𝐈 𝐤𝐞𝐩𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐈 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐭. 𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐥, 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞. 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐝𝐨. 🙂 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐊.:)

    𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄====)> 𝐰𝐰𝐰.𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐭.𝐜𝐨𝐦

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  • janoti9068 6 months ago

    𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐠𝐥𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐲 𝟗𝟕$ 𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐰𝐚𝐬 $𝟖𝟓𝟎𝟎 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝟏𝐨 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐚 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞. 𝐌𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝟏𝟐𝐤 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝟐𝟐 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐚 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤. 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐲 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐈 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐭.. 🙂 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐊.:) 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄====)>𝐰𝐰𝐰.𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐭.𝐜𝐨𝐦

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